We are reading chapters 9-12 in Wild in the Hollow by Amber Haines.
Maybe it was just me, but I wanted to lay down at the end of today’s section. All that longing for community. All the effort to adopt and then scandals and confusion. All that desire. All those hours spent in hospitals trying to figure out what was wrong with Titus.
I was tired.
But I was also fed. Amber had woven in with gems for the journey:
- “This is all kooky talk, but I look at it now and recognize the winds of the Holy Spirit speaking to me.” I’ve spoken kooky talk myself and I recognize the Spirit too.
- “This community was something new to me, like church without production, and it was all a part of being small, my being the one in the room with the least amount of wisdom.” The longing for community without production resonates deeply with me.
- “In my desire for a daughter and in my desire to change the world, I refused to listen to Seth or the Spirit.” I imagine this is more universal than we realize . . . refusing to listen in the face of our desire. The dance between desire and motive is often done so far below the surface it can be tricky to know their relationship.
- “We, in the Rock House with our beautiful boys, hit a heart-broken and only low, and that was not the kind of small we were looking for.” This is one word brought to life, isn’t it? We might think we know what a word may mean, but then it does in a different direction and don’t respond to, “Come back here right now!” What journey is your word taking you on?
- “We had gathered a group who lived in close proximity to failure, last breaths, mental illnesses, warring children, and addiction.” I’m not sure why, but the line about living in close proximity to failure made me think of us and this calling of bringing good news into dark corners. We, too, live in proximity to failure. This comforts me and I’m not sure why.
- “We were in the rare phase of learning how to be both common and uncommon.” I love this!
- “Maybe that’s exactly what you are supposed to do—let yourself break.” How does this idea free you and scare you at the same time?
- “I talked to God. I said words like ‘glory.’ I said words like ‘trust.’ I said, ‘No matter what,’ but I find’ know what I meant.” I think we can relate.
- “This is what I know of desire. Desire affects the whole person, mind, body, and soul. Desire is a drive. It is a hunger that opens its mouth. It is a dissatisfaction, a longing, a wintered beast of prey.” This is one of the most stunningly written bull eyes to my heart.
- “I planned and spent our money as if I were buying sanity.” Really, there was so much in this section I could have copied the whole paragraph. Seth used alcohol to escape (she called it “a process of un-recovery” for them both. What a description!), Amber shopping. What have you used as a process of un-recovery?
- “All my desire had wished it so, but the names, the metaphors given that point to God, were lackluster, never what I desired because (I see it now) the thing itself, the metaphor, is not God.” Yes. Just yes.
Today I was working on a post and wanted to link my friend Lynn’s blog and when I went to check I had the address right, I saw a post entitled The Anger Scared Me. Lynn wrote it not too long after the movie Inside Out was released and in it she shared a short video she recorded for the counseling group she and her husband used in recovery. She shares her experience with anger in the video below:
(If you’re reading this in an email, click here to watch the video.)
When Lynn describes hauling her anger up and over the mountain, it made me think of this section. I also had the strongest sense I was to share it. So, I have no doubt that God had me see this this week for you, who ever watches this video and knows it was for you. Kooky talk, I say :). But you get it. The Spirit blows the whole world over and it blows for us too.
What stood out to you? If you can believe it, though I have loved this whole book, my favorite section is yet to come! Until the comments and next week :),
We finish Wild in the Hollow next week. February will be YA and a children’s book. We’ll read The Witch of Blackbird Pond only $6.99 on kindle or here’s a free PDF. The last week of February we got a treat with a children’s book and author! Lots to look forward to in our current book and future ones to come :). I love book club.
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