Have You Seen {July 17, 2016}

Welcome to Have You Seen?  We’ll review last week and share other posts from around the web. Enjoy rest and renewal while you cozy up for some soul-food reading.

Last Week’s Theme: Pleaser

Failing to People Please by Laura Bowling—”Serving cross-culturally adds an entirely new dimension to people pleasing, and for those of us who struggle with wanting to please others, the pressure can be immense, especially when our income is dependent on the generosity of others.”

This Section Satisfied Me {Book Club} by Amy Young—”This part of the book satisfied me because Lilias was a real person who, like us, had to consider the following areas. She’s an example on how to navigate them.”

The People Pleasing Dilemma Vs. God by Jayna Gallagher—”Something is wrong. I know it, and God knows it. Though longing to remedy the situation, I am unable to say no to good opportunities that come my way. Saying no makes me feel as though I am disappointing others. In addition, if I do not step in, things simply will not get done, or so I think. I reason that these occasions are ministry, and one should never turn down a chance to minister, right?”

Kicking Off Those Ill-Fitting Shoes by Joy Smalley—”I feel like everyone is watching me. It is as if every area of my life has now become a topic for judgement. What stores do I shop at? Wouldn’t it be better to shop at the open market? My parenting, my language, my cooking (I mean, do you eat the national food or not and how often?), my furniture, my pets and whether or not I have AC units in my home have all become added pressures that leave me feeling like a failure.”

People Pleasing 101 {The Grove – Pleaser} by Patty Stallings—”Hello. I’m Patty. I’m a recovering people pleaser. An overachiever addicted to the applause of approval. A woman deeply disappointed when I haven’t lived up to my own expectations and shoulds. My story is fraught with excessive “yesses” driven by staking my value in how I’m perceived and what I can contribute. This is what I’ve learned along the path of recovery.”

Instagram Highlight for #VelvetAshesPleaser

Screen Shot 2016-07-16 at 9.25.28 AM
This week’s repost is from @laurarose82! There were some gorgeous pictures in #velvetashespleaser. We had to share Laura’s breakthrough this week with people pleasing and being her true self. Love you, Laura!
“Earlier this week I shared at @velvetashes about failing as a people pleaser overseas. But what I have been wrestling with lately in the reentry process is suppressing the unique aspects of my life because I’m afraid people won’t want to be my friend, because I’ll sound pretentious when I say I’ve lived in Europe. However, last night I did something brave. I walked into a room filled with women I didn’t know. As women shared about friendship and as I interacted with others, I found myself being myself. Not trying to fit a mold, just being me. A newlywed, a writer, a traveler. I shared about living overseas without hesitation, and it wasn’t until I got home that I realized for the first time in a long time, I was me with people who don’t know me. Thank you @inCourage for investing in the lives of women, and thank you @kristenstrong and others for genuinely listening and sharing last night.”

From Around the Web

When God Seems Far, Far Away …

When Life Turns Out Differently Than You Planned.

Receive the Love.

When reality hits. (Daddy has a mango worm.)

Finally, The Question on God’s Lips.

And Now for Next Week

The theme is . . .


Did your soul exhale a bit at the thought? Ours too. It is our annual time to Sabbath together. Not to just talk about rhythms, but to live them.  This week we’re giving ourselves space to breathe and rest. There will be no posts. No Book Club, no meet up at The Grove. Just space to be quiet, to fill up again.

You can share how you Sabbath this week on Instagram with #velvetashessabbath.

Here are a few good reads about Sabbath:

We saw that the Creator has woven Sabbath into the very rhythms of nature.  Remember the tusk of the narwhal? If you have no idea what we’re talking about, prepare to be amazed at God. Again.

We talked about how to cultivate rest and play.

We shared about our deep need for rest.

We gave ideas for how leaders and those in our line of work can rest.

We talked about our addiction to doing, and had an enriching talk at The Grove about what Sabbath actually looks like in our lives–including Sabbath with young kids.

If you’re interested, Shelly Miller hosts a Sabbath Society and on Fridays will drop a gentle email sharing about Sabbath. She is a gentle and kind guide.

See you after Sabbath, friends.

1 Comment

  1. Bayta July 17, 2016

    “This week we’re giving ourselves space to breathe and rest.” Oh that sounds so wonderful! I wish I could say that as well… Instead I’m going into one of the more stressful weeks of my summer – very busy and completely out of my comfort zone… Back in January, when I agreed to this project, it seemed like a good idea… now – not so much. Coming hot on the heals of a wonderful but very intense conference, and followed by another conference that still requires some prep, it just feels heavy. Still – August will come, and with it space to breath and rest. In the meantime -I might just end up having a blast this week – who knows?!

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