Today we’re are continuing with What Women Fear by Angie Smith by discussing chapter 2: Fear of Rejection, Abandonment, and Betrayal.
If you’ve read (or listened, Hi Brittany!) to this chapter, you know that the scripture she looks at includes Job and Leah. Before we get to that, Angie’s “friends” when she was 12?!! Oh my word. I hate mean girls. Picturing Angie’s excitement as she prepared for the ballet teacher audition and then when she overheard them afterwards.
We talked last week about how silence is one of the greatest weapons of the enemy. The more he can keep us not talking about our what-ifs the more they can grow. This is another one of his great weapons . . . crush the trust of someone through rejection, abandonment, or betrayal and you don’t have to have “really bad” things happen to them (though, of course we know bad things can happen to any of us).
Once trust is damaged, a common response is to look like we are participating in life, without truly engaging at the deepest level.
I was thinking of another movie clip that shows what can happen when someone has their trust profoundly violated. This scene is from Good Will Hunting and there is colorful language, so don’t play with young kids around 🙂 and if you’d rather not hear it, no problem. Watch it as if you are Will (played by Matt Damon) and the therapist (played by Robin Williams) is the Holy Spirit. If you’re reading this in an email, you can watch the scene here.
1. Will asks, “Do you have experience with this?” and Sean answers along the line of having 20 years of counseling experiences. “No, do you have experience with this?” Did he, through personal experience, know what Will had experienced?
Hebrews 4:15 came to mind. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin.
Yes, this scripture is about temptation, but what a comfort that we can ask Jesus, “Do you have experience with rejection, abandonment, and betrayal?” and know that the answer is yes.
2. After sharing his experience, Sean says, “It’s not your fault.” Will plays it cool and keeps himself safe with a casual, “I know that.” God loves us too much not to keep pursuing us when we live in the shadow of this fear. Very often, “It’s not your fault.”
“It’s not your fault.” Don’t mess with me. I’m okay as long as I keep the moat around my heart. If you breach it, I may fall apart.
“It’s not your fault.” The base message of God behind this fear.
3. Oh the beautiful result when this fear is faced and God restores. That embrace between Will and Sean. It went on and on. Will clutching to Sean, and Sean hugging him back with equal force. This ending is what God wants for each of us—to be in close, healthy relationships with ourselves, those around us, nature, and with God himself.
I couldn’t believe how well that scene fit in with this chapter.
I wasn’t surprised she used Job as a scriptural illustration. Understandably, Angie could have used almost anyone in the Bible because rejection, abandonment, and betrayal is common to us all.
I had not noticed the ways the names of Leah’s son’s changed from names that would show how hopefully Jacob would love her now. But she didn’t. Sometimes it does not matter how much you try to adapt to the local culture, or reach out to someone at home, or work hard in your job, you will not please the ones you want to please.
By the fourth child, Leah quit focusing on earning Jacob’s love and named her son Judah meaning “praise.” This time I will praise the Lord. (Genesis 29:35)
Ah, may God be using this book and our conversations to rewire our heads, hearts, and very being for this to be our response. No matter what.
What stood out to you in this chapter? Like the what-ifs, this one hits close, doesn’t it?
See you in the comments.
P.S. Next week we’ll discuss chapter 3.
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