When You Feel Like You Are In the Wrong Story
I have a confession. Or maybe three or four. I absolutely love my life and the joys and freedom that not being married right now brings. But sometimes I don’t like being single. I know I should be content, should count the gifts. And I do. But then I come home to an empty house, […]
Do We Need to Cut Ties?
Steaming mug of coffee in hand, I click join on my family’s weekly video chat. It’s Sunday morning for me, Saturday evening for them back in the rolling Midwest hills. Videos pop onto the screen: my parents on the desktop in their bedroom, siblings joining from spots in college or beyond, wherever the years take […]
The Dark Side of Green
There is a dark side to singleness. An ugly, evil, green dark side. Four years ago, I was preparing to move to my host country. I packed up my house, held a yard sale, boxed up what I wanted to keep, and made all of my own arrangements for what to do with my earthly […]
A Time for Lament
If you are a woman completely content in your singleness, bless you, sister. Seriously, go with God and change the world right where you are, and teach us your ways. But maybe that’s not you. Maybe your heart feels broken open a little with unfulfilled longing and buried dreams. You are serving Jesus and following […]
Dear Single Girl
Dear Single Girl: You are not lacking. Did you know that? Has anyone told you that? All those youth group sermons where you made lists of the qualities of the man you would marry – did anyone tell you that you can have a full, abundant life following the path God has laid out for […]
Questions From a Single Nomad
My left ring finger is empty. It’s not bare: a freckle marks the spot where a ring might sit. But nothing winds around it as a reminder of a lifelong promise. Because I’ve never stood before God and these witnesses and promised forever to another human. Our marital status is a huge piece of our […]
Singleness and the Commitment to Community
Sometimes singleness is just miserable. I went to a women’s retreat with some teammates and was so uplifted by the week. But then we came home. While my teammates returned to children running to meet them, kisses from their adoring husbands, dinner on the table, and banners across the doorway saying “Welcome Home!,” my roommate […]
This Week’s Theme: Singleness
Our relationship status does not define our worth. But married or single, a momma of littles or an empty-nester, these roles mark and shape who we are in significant ways. Over the next three weeks here at Velvet Ashes, we are going to be carving out space to talk about these important topics: singleness, marriage […]
The Cost of Yes
I remember watching them when I was small. Watching them tease one another at 30, 40, 50. Watching them point to the hair at their scalp and laugh together that the color was fading from it. Watching my grandmother pull at her skin in the mirror, marveling at how it had crushed into itself like […]
Invitation to a Prodigal
I have been in Cambodia for four years, and what do I have to show for it? A whole lot of pain and struggle, a few words I can speak in this foreign language, and some great sandal tan lines on my dirty feet. I long for more. Far too often I am just like […]
3 Ways Hannah Lau Contributes to the Conversation
Today we are honored to have Hannah Lau, author of Wherever You Go: A Conversation About Life, Faith, and Courage. I got to meet Hannah in person last fall when she passed through Denver. I am happy for you to learn about her book because she has several unique characteristics to contribute to the conversation. She’s Asian Canadian and […]
Cross Cultural Comic Relief
I moved to Zimbabwe as a single woman at the age of 26, on accident. Yup, you read that right, accident. As in unintentionally. I came for two weeks, came back for three months, then I returned leading a team of volunteers for three weeks with an option to stay on for a year. Ten […]