5 Strengths You’ll Gain From a Cross-Cultural Friendship

Ah, I love friendships! Cultivating new ones, delving deeper into old ones, resting comfortably in an ever-present one, or savoring the delight of physical time with a normally-distant friend. I’d venture to say that my friendships are one of the things in my life that I hold most dear, especially one particular kind of friendship: the cross-cultural friendship.

Sure, this friendship may be born in the hometown that you’ve never left, as you get to know an immigrant who’s arrived in your neighborhood. Or, as has more often been my case, maybe you’re the immigrant, expat, or global worker. Make no mistake, a cross-cultural friendship can take a lot more work. It can feel a lot riskier too. But I propose that these friendships are well worth all the language blunders and cultural faux-pas that can come with them. Here’s why:

1. Identifying (and hopefully leaving behind) cultural weaknesses

You’re called to be more than the native culture that you grew up with. Of course, we all have cultures that we’re more familiar with, but that familiarity should never be mistaken for superiority over a lesser known culture. Resist the urge to, ahem, resist a foreign culture, and you’ll find yourself the richer for it, I promise. In fact, some of my life’s greatest lessons have come from within a culture that was at one time foreign to me. Case in point: as a native Brit I come from an uber-apologetic culture. When faced with a new life in Florida at one point, I discovered that my language needed an overhaul to remove so many of the apologetic habits that I’d grown up with and I’d wager that I’m much better off as a result.

2. New tastes

You never know what new discovery you may just unearth while in pursuit of a cross-cultural friendship. For example, how do you know that you don’t like lamb vindaloo or Zumba dancing, if you’ve never tried them? A cross-cultural friend is a double blessing on this score; as they can serve as your guide, but in the (often messy) process of introducing you to a new custom, you will also be further cultivating your relationship.

3. Flexibility & empathy

Nothing is going to throw your convictions and beliefs into question as much as submerging them in another culture. So, while this process is in motion, it’s a great time to assess why you believe and think the way that you do, and to be open to make changes. Maybe you’ll become more convinced than ever that something you believe is true, or maybe you’ll realize that one conviction in one setting doesn’t automatically convert to another. Either way, you’ll find yourself a lot more open to embracing other ways of thinking and doing, as you hold a little looser to your own non-absolutes.

4. Added joy

If you’re living overseas your cross-cultural friendships can be a source of great joy. Joy that can offset some of the definite hardships that life overseas can bring. For example, I consider it a great privilege to conduct my friendships with local Angolans in the way that I do. I know it probably wouldn’t fly to spend hours at a friend’s house unannounced if we still lived in the US or the UK, and yet that’s a cultural element present in our current local culture that I’ve come to value highly. It brings me great joy to enjoy the uniqueness of my friendships with local Angolans.

5. The more true friendships you cultivate cross-culturally, the easier it will get.

Maybe this is obvious, but the more accustomed you become to relating to people outside of your comfort culture, the less you’ll look to the cultural cues and crutches that come with it, giving rise to the freedom to pursue relationships in ways that might not be successful back home, (leisurely two-hour midweek lunches, anyone?).

There you have it. Five worthy strengths that are up for grabs as we embrace a cross-cultural friendship.

How about you, what strengths have you gained from a cross-cultural friendship? What’s been most surprising to you about forming a cross-cultural friendship?

What do you think?

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.