The stand-alone house with a yard, maybe even a garden. Access to beautiful parks where the kids can run free and have fun equipment to monkey around on. Trusted, professional healthcare (albeit at a high cost!). Family and friends in the same time zone, a phone call or short drive away. Endless activities for the kids to explore and stretch their skill sets.
These ideas, plus many more, are ones I’ve struggled to surrender over the sixteen years we’ve lived overseas. The struggles come in waves. Summers tend to be harder because the kids are out of school with loads of free time, and I longingly wonder what summer camps I would enroll them in if we lived in the States. Which pools I would take them to so they could hone their basic swimming skills. What new friends they would make.
The pity party gets started quickly. Scrolling on social media definitely makes it worse! The longer we’ve been here, by God’s grace, the quicker I’ve been able to put a stop to the invading, spiraling thoughts. I, instead, attempt to force myself to think of the things they get to do because they live abroad. They’re pros at navigating airports. They’ve been to more countries than the vast majority of their peers. They can speak, read, and write a difficult language well. They can enjoy time with the littlest toddler on the team, then turn around to have an intelligent conversation with the oldest adult teammate.
When I’m in a wallowing stage, I become so self-focused, not content with my current life. When I’m self-focused, I’m not God-focused. In this mindset, I reject the idea that he has already laid out the best plans for my life . . . for everyone’s life in my family.
“Keep your lives free from the love of money, and be content with what you have, because God has said, ‘Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.’” Hebrews 13:5 (NIV)
This truth hits hard and shakes me loose of the whinging. When I can pause and remember how the Lord has blessed our lives so richly and reflect on the goodness he desires for our lives, there’s no argument my flesh can retort.
I also often think about our calling to this foreign land. The Lord was so kind to very clearly speak into our lives about where he wanted us to serve. I often joke that he had to be so clear with me, otherwise my stubbornness would’ve won and we wouldn’t be here. But because I know we’re right where we’re supposed to be until he calls us elsewhere, there is immediate comfort, relieving the worries or jealous thoughts I have.
As our kids have grown up and they’ve begun to form their own ideas and beliefs, I’ve become more keenly aware how closely they watch our interactions, reactions, and how we talk about situations. I don’t want to downplay the emotional roller coasters we may go through when hit with another sacrifice or challenge, but I’ve noticed that if I’m quick to share with them the joys and benefits they have living this life, everyone comes around to joy a bit faster. Isn’t that what I want for them, and for me? To “count it all joy,” even when times are tough? It’s a daily battle, but one worth fighting.
“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” Romans 12:2 (NIV)
What thoughts of envy or jealousy for another land, maybe your passport country, do you struggle with? What ways have you found to combat these thoughts?
*****
I often get in a rut when it comes to dinner side dishes. Broccoli, green beans, potatoes, same . . . same . . . same. I stumbled upon this recipe and it’s been a great addition to our rotation! Unfortunately, the local fresh corn we can buy is more like feed corn, but thankfully, there’s canned or frozen corn that’s a little sweeter and closer to the Midwestern US corn I’m used to. Fresh off the cob, frozen, or canned corn all work. Mix with a few simple ingredients, pop in the oven while the rest of dinner is cooking, and you’ve got a yummy, creamy side dish!
Ingredients:
- 40 oz/5 cups of corn (fresh off the cob; canned, drained; or frozen, either thawed or frozen)
- 2/3 cup mayonnaise
- 2/3 cup sour cream (plain, thick Greek yogurt also works)
- 2 tsp chili powder, divided
- 3/4 tsp garlic powder
- 1/2 tsp salt
- Optional add-ins or toppings: cotija cheese, queso fresco, parmesan cheese, crumbled feta cheese, Tajin, or cilantro. You could also add shredded chicken or beef to make it more into a dip and serve with tortilla chips.
Instructions:
- Preheat oven to 350*F/175*C and spray a 9×13-inch baking dish with oil or cooking spray.
- In a large bowl, stir together the corn, mayonnaise, sour cream, 1 1/2 tsp of chili powder, garlic powder, salt, and any additional add-ins you want. If using cheese, you could mix in half of it, and put the other half on as a topping towards the end of baking.
- Pour the mixture into the baking pan, sprinkle with chili powder, and bake 35–45 minutes, or until bubbly and warmed through. Top with any additional toppings at this point. Serve warm.
