I close my eyes and try to picture her. She stands at the entrance of the tent. Her gaze, so accustomed to the distant horizon, takes in the landscape of undulating hills and far-off mountains, of infinite shades of earth and olive. Her skin is weathered by the sun and the lines of her face—in the corners of her eyes, around the edges of her mouth—speak of the life she has lived. Her beauty has moved kings.
The wind stirs. Its playful fingers tease at the edges of her veil and unravel the knots holding the tent open. The material flaps in the breeze. Untethered.
I’ve been doing a study on Abraham, but I’ve found myself wondering about Sarah quite often. The Bible tells us so little of what she was thinking or feeling, and, in the absence of information, I keep putting myself in her shoes. Perhaps because I, like her, am once again in a season of transition and wandering.
At the end of last year, I packed up my home and ministry and said farewell to my community. The change has a joyful reason—I was leaving to get married and to partner with my new husband in the work that God had given us. There’s just one problem—at least from my perspective. There seems to be a clear calling from God, a clear gifting, a clear instruction to “walk in this way,” but we are yet to discover the how.
In the short time that we have been married, we’ve already moved three times and, even now, the place we’re living is temporary and uncertain. We have not yet landed anywhere. Instead, we are waiting on God. He has been providing for our every need day by day. We can’t see where he is taking us, but he is leading us somewhere. How my heart longs for the end of the journey! I want a place to land and to make a home. I long for stability and certainty. I feel untethered.
Did Sarah ever feel the same way? With Abram, she left her home, her family, her culture—everything she had ever known—in obedience to God’s call. She lived a life of ever-changing landscapes and temporary residences. A life of instability in a violent and uncertain world. The contrast of her semi-nomadic, tent-life reality and the God-given promise of a home, land, and family must surely have weighed on her at times. Did she, too, feel untethered?
The book of Hebrews tells us a little about Sarah’s faith: “She considered him faithful who had made the promise” (Hebrews 11:11 NIV). I am inclined to believe that Sarah had her own faith in and relationship with God. Just like me, he had a plan and purpose for her life. And just like me, she had to learn that her true home and eternal inheritance were found in Christ. Secure in him. Tethered.
I am eager for this season to come to an end. And I am learning to recognize the gifts of God’s grace in the midst of it. I long for stability and certainty. I want to know where the journey ends. In Christ, I have all these things already, and they cannot be taken from me by the ups and downs of my lived experience. I know and am known and loved by God who is unchanging. There is no thing on this earth more stable. I am held by the One who is faithful to keep his promises, who calls me his own, who does not turn away from his children. What greater certainty and assurance can I find?
My journey through this life will be filled with many homes, many communities, many places to put down roots, but all of them will be temporary—beautiful, imperfect shadows of the home my heart truly yearns for. The home Christ Jesus has prepared for me. I am not tossed about by the whims of the wind, flapping untethered in the breeze. I am held safe and secure in the purposes of the One who spoke the universe into being.
The Sarah of my imagination has only paused for a moment in the entrance of that tent. She looks out at a land that she will not live to own, a tangible representation of a promise and story far greater than she can fully comprehend. She stands, in many ways, at the beginning of a story that will grow to encompass the whole world, transforming and welcoming people from every corner of the earth. But for now, all she knows is her little part of it. And all she is asked to do is believe and follow the Promise Keeper.
Are you feeling untethered in this season? What is tethering you in Christ?
3 Responses
Yes!
I feel like I am learning and asking for whole new standards for my life and it’s a bit unnerving. I wish God would give me answers now! haha!
Thank you for sharing, this does resonate and seems like a good picture of where I’m at in a different way.
I realized that for 25+ years I have had my schedule given to me, not that I am not able to make my own schedule, the problem is I am too good at it! I want to learn to hold it loosely and be more available to God.
Oh, I feel that too! I think I am always swinging between schedule-less and over scheduled. One day we’ll find that sweet spot! I’m praying for you (and for me 😅) as you figure out what it looks like for you to hold the schedule loosely and for opportunities to see God at work in the spaces you create.
Thank you!