5 Real-Life Tips for Cross-Cultural Success + Decadent Banana Bread

After living in the same country of service for nearly 15 years, I’ve seen a lot. I’ve watched fellow expats thrive as they adapt to their surroundings easily, and others struggle with the stark differences to their home culture. I find myself somewhere in the middle. Let’s jump into some tips I’ve gleaned over the years.

Get to know your neighbors. Ask them where they buy the best stuff, get their hair cut, and how to open the lockers for deliveries. Ask them where they take their kids to play. Ask them how to pay for electricity and what to do if the water gets turned off.

When we moved into our most recent high-rise, the pandemic restrictions and two-week lockdown gave us ample opportunities to meet our neighbors. During that time, we met a few families with kids similar ages to ours and, when allowed to roam free again, started hanging out. That mama took me to a walking food street nearby that has excellent roasted duck! 

When talking with the gate guard and his regular friends that sit at the gate to have a daily chat, I learned there’s a swimming pool in the gym right across the street from us! I would’ve never gone in to check it out myself. 

Go exploring. In this “small” (4 million) metropolis, we’ve lived in 3 different homes over the 10 years here. Each time we’ve moved, we took the time over the first few months to explore the surrounding area. We walked down the random alleys. Went into the shops we couldn’t quite read the signs of. We found some areas to avoid, like the assumed red-light district. We found the shops with the kind or curious owners. And we keep exploring. Because if your neighborhood is anything like ours, stores and restaurants close on a dime and new ones pop up instantly. 

Let the rude comments roll. I couldn’t tell you how many times I’ve been asked if I’m pregnant when I’m not. Living in a society where culture expects women to be a certain size and shape, any pudge, and I’m in for the question to pop up at some point. Just the other day, an auntie asked how old my baby was (5 months), then asked if I’m pregnant again! When I said, “no, it’s just the leftover from having 4 babies,” she continued with “advice” that I must not be nursing the baby enough if she’s this small and my tummy is that big. WOW! I’ll be honest, it took me a minute to let that interaction roll off. But then I remembered it wasn’t the first time, and the locals tend to have such a narrow perspective on body shape. 

Being a mixed family, I also get comments on the kids’ different skin tones—the lighter being the preferred one by locals. For those comments, I usually take the time to educate them a bit on what comments come off as rude and inappropriate, and that each of my kids is beautiful as they are. I really like to shock them with the fact that the West prefers darker skin and actually sun bathes to obtain it. Their jaw drops as they pull their sun sleeves up a little higher. They honestly don’t mean to be rude, but they often haven’t been around foreigners and just can’t help themselves. 

Know that it’s ok to say “no thanks” to some foods they offer. Westerners tend to be very polite when it comes to the food we’re being served. We realize the effort and sacrifice it took to serve us, so we don’t want to offend our hosts by not trying what they set before us. However, over the years, we’ve realized that the locals here, while they love to push and push to get us to eat more and more, don’t actually do that themselves when they’re guests in our home. So, when something really turns my stomach (boiled pig skin or congealed blood are on my list), I’ve come to terms that it’s ok to tell them I’m not used to such foods.  

Fishbowl ministry will outlast any restriction. Where we serve, it seems restrictions on what we can and cannot do just keep coming. Such is the climate in our country of service at the moment. However, we still get to live our lives in ways that other people notice the differences. We spend time outside playing freely with our kids when other families choose to be bogged down with extra classes to get ahead. My husband and I go out on dates and actually engage in conversation instead of individually play on our phones. We choose not to play the games of buttering up or bribing officials or customers, instead standing firm on our convictions to run an honest business. 

Our lives are on display, whether we like it or not. We stand out so much in this society, they can’t help but watch our every move, and often record some of them. While some days we’d rather not be the local celebrity, it sure is constant accountability to do the right thing! Of course, when we don’t—and there are plenty of those times—we’re reminded that those watching will surely know we’re just human and not some superhero they sometimes make us out to be. 

Whether you’re new in town or been around the block more times than you can count, I hope remembering Who called you here and why is the biggest encouragement to keep you going on the hard days and throwing up hands of praise on the fantastic days! 

*****

To be honest, I don’t love most banana breads. BUT, this one has a block of cream cheese mixed right into the batter, making it rich and delicious. It’s the only one I make now! Hopefully you have cream cheese where you are to give it a try!

First up, cream the butter, sugar, and cream cheese.

Yesss…already looking extra creamy!

Add in eggs, bananas, and vanilla.

Get the dry ingredients ready in a separate bowl.

Let your 10-year-old sous chef take over. 😉

This recipe makes a double batch; you won’t be sorry!

Wait oh-so-patiently for it to cool some so it doesn’t cut up into hunks and chunks. Or don’t and just eat it straight out of the pan. No judgement here.

Let the kids have a slice minutes before going to bed because they can’t ignore the smell of warm spices and bananas!

Decadent Banana Bread

Ready in: 1 hour 25 minutes

Makes: 2 loaves

Slightly adapted from: Mel’s Kitchen Cafe

INGREDIENTS:

Bread:

• ¾ cup (170 g) salted butter, softened to room temperature
• 8 ounces (227 g) cream cheese, light or regular, softened to room temperature
• 1 ½ cups (318 g) granulated sugar
• 2 large eggs
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 1 cup (about 226 g) mashed ripe bananas, about 3 large bananas
• 3 cups (426 g) all-purpose flour
• 1 teaspoon baking powder
• ½ teaspoon baking soda
• ½ teaspoon salt
• 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
• ½ teaspoon ground nutmeg

Topping:

• 1 Tablespoon salted butter
• 1 Tablespoon flour
• ¼ cup + 2 Tbsp granulated sugar
• 1 teaspoon cinnamon

INSTRUCTIONS:

• Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Grease two loaf pans with cooking spray or butter and set aside.
• In a large bowl, cream together the butter, cream cheese and sugar until very light and fluffy, 2-3 minutes. Beat in the eggs, vanilla and bananas.
• In a medium bowl, whisk together the flour, baking powder, baking soda, salt, cinnamon and nutmeg. Stir the dry ingredients into the wet ingredients with a spatula until combined.
• In a small bowl, mash together the topping ingredients until combined and crumbly.
• Divide the batter evenly among the prepared loaf pans. Sprinkle with the topping.
• Bake for 50-60 minutes until the bread is nicely domed and a toothpick inserted in the middle comes out clean.
• Remove from the oven and let rest in the pans for 5-10 minutes before turning out on a cooling rack to cool completely.