This year I set off to discover the very best treasure. Don’t think shiny gold coins and a big X on a map, the bling of big diamonds or sparkling jewels. This treasure is found in clay jars, in the dark places and joys of daily life. My One Word chosen for 2014 is Treasure, and I wanted to discover what it means to find delight in my Heavenly Father.
How have I been doing in this intentional journey? I have seen God in His glory in a fresh way, glimpsed just a bit of how amazing His love is. I have witnessed His majesty anew in the gorgeous poofy clouds that billow up over the clear blue Cambodia sky as the start of rainy season draws near. I have felt like my heart was about to burst with awe, even with the electricity off and sweat pouring down in a room all squeezed together with brothers and sisters who share the same purpose as we lifted our voices together in praise.
My teammate and I asked God for vision. We prayed and He gave us separately the same idea, renewing our passion and burdening our hearts for His Name raised high on the praises of these people.
There have been so many things that have caused me to stop and just marvel at this great God that we serve.
But what about when our Khmer friends’ young son died after a year-long battle with leukemia? Does this God I treasure and worship come to the hurting and is He found in the pain? We studied the story of Satan’s temptation of Eve in the Garden and the consequences for sin, and my language teacher asked, “What happens to the people that have never heard?” Do I treasure God’s justice, His judgement? This is the hard part, when I wrestle and cry, seek to understand the mysterious and put all this before Him again and again and declare that I must delight in all of who God is.
There has been a part I never expected, words spoken to my heart in the throes of my first year of language learning, the days it seemed this introverted farm girl is not cut out for work in a foreign land.
I have heard His whisper: “You know those areas where you think you failed? You don’t feel like you are good enough? I don’t think that way about you. You are My treasure”.
Does treasuring my Father mean discovering what He thinks of me too? My worship of Him is not dependent on this; He deserves my praise in the joy and in the hard, the pain and breakthroughs, because He is worthy. I’m not there yet, I don’t always know how to treasure when I don’t feel like it. I don’t know what else He wants to speak to the deep parts of my heart and how this will impact my delight in who He is, but I keep pressing in, pressing on in this journey.
What ways have you found to delight in God in the dark, hard things?