I moved my family back to SE Asia two weeks ago. I’m also 28 weeks pregnant. Let’s talk about sleep deprivation, shall we?
Jet lag. Body aches. Hard mattresses.
Construction noises. Dogs barking. KIDS.
Friends, there is almost no amount of money I wouldn’t consider paying to fly my pregnancy pillow back across the ocean to me. My biggest regret in post-Christmas packing is that I didn’t leave more puzzles and Shopkins and books behind to make room for that beloved pillow.
But really. The loud music was blaring early this morning from the construction site next door, and I beat my bed with a loud sigh of surrender and determined that it was time to start the day. This, of course, was after I considered how I could pour water over my back wall onto the radio producing the unrighteous decibels.
I give in. Precious sleep is a luxury one does not necessarily get to claim as a basic human right (though it should be).
Do you want to know the ironic thing about the lack of physical sleep I’m getting back here across the globe? My spiritual health has been completely reset.
We were hardly beginning to unpack when I wrote in my journal, We arrived back in country two days ago, and already I feel refreshed and focused to live on purpose.
What is this about? How could a place that robs me of deep physical sleep also make me feel so alive?
I’ll speak candidly. Our time in the U.S. last year was necessary as we were finalizing our daughter’s adoption paperwork. There really was so much good that came from the five months we enjoyed there.
But living in a large faith community for the first time in three years took its toll on my relationship with the Father. I woke up each day thinking about how I could satisfy my flesh rather than having a hunger to be filled with the Spirit.
I became laterally dependent — on family, on friends, on Sonic — to get me through each day. The thing I love most about living abroad, though, is the necessity to live upwardly dependent — on God and His Spirit to pour out over me.
This time back in my home overseas, I’m thinking a lot more about how we will be moving back to America for good one day. And my greatest fear is that I will land in a situation that allows me to be too comfortable.
The word that is on my heart recently is INTERRUPTED. I desperately want to live a life that is being interrupted…by communal culture, by people in need, by my own lack of power or ability to make things of God move in a place.
So while we may long for a nice set of hotel collection bedding complete with a cushion-top mattress and children who miraculously all sleep twelve hours each night, I pray that our community will be constantly strengthened by the joy that comes from living a life of upward dependence.
May we rejoice in the interruptions…within our home and outside our home…relishing in the fact that people are drawn to be near us and be comforted by us. May the Spirit that fills our souls pour over and out into the souls of our families and neighbors, however many times our days are disturbed. Because it’s then we’re led to look upward.
What have you been reading and processing this week alongside our theme, SLEEP? What does this word make you think of as you consider your current walk in life? I can’t wait to chat with you in the comments. Thank you for being here!
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Here’s our Instagram collection from this week using #VelvetAshesSleep. You can add yours!