Hello, friend. I see you.
In the thick of this longing season, wishing things were different. Waiting for things to change.
There’s a lot of this feeling, isn’t there? There are so many facets of this global life that require us to wait.
We wait for partners to come in as we fundraise. We wait for visas.
We wait for the perfect language helper. We wait for our first friend.
We wait to understand our first conversation. We wait to deliver our first sermon in our new language.
We wait for our first convert. We wait for the fruit, for the harvest we have been praying for.
We wait for new fundraising partners to replace the ones we’ve lost to donor attrition.
We wait to see family and friends back home. We wait to meet our new niece or nephew.
We wait to return from furlough. We wait for our kids to return from boarding school.
We wait. We wait. We wait.
There is so much in flux, so much “not yet,” so much longing.
And it feels pretty acute at this time of year, right? Advent pulls us straight into our feelings about waiting. The longings that we feel year-round come to a head at Christmastime, as we read of Mary and her waiting and we long for Christmas, for arrival, ourselves. Homesickness and culture shock can intensify our feelings of longing. And all of this is so, so normal.
For a long time, I thought the opposite of waiting was patience. Learning to wait well, with a good attitude and trust that things will work out. And, of course, this is good to strive for and good to pray for!
But, I’m learning that the opposite of waiting isn’t patience—it’s presence. It’s trust that is so complete, it allows us to rest where we are, fully content. To be conscious and available to the work of the Lord in our reality, in our right now. It’s the ability to give what we are waiting for to the Lord and to be where we are, with what we have, with who we’ve been given, and know that it is good.
When we sit in the waiting and allow it to define us, our consciousness is in the future—when will this happen, when will this come through, it’ll be fine when we have this, I’ll be successful once I accomplish this. We are taken out of the present by focusing on the “when” and the “what if” that naturally come during the wait.
When we sit in the waiting, it’s easy to miss what God is doing in the right now, right next to us.
While we are waiting for visas—what is God doing in and through us?
While we are waiting for our first convert—what is God doing in the hearts of our friends?
While we are waiting for our furlough—what are we missing by failing to practice gratitude?
While we are waiting for teammates—what is the Lord calling us to that we might be missing?
While we are waiting—what does God have for us in the present?
Choosing presence during a period of waiting is defiant. It’s difficult and counterintuitive and often something we can’t do of our own effort.
But I am confident that this is a muscle we can develop and something the Spirit will honor in partnership with us if we ask for it. It is something the Spirit can give us a gentle awareness of, reminding us to open our eyes to the Kingdom happening all around us.
So, as you move through this season where it is so easy to focus on the future and to sit solidly in the longing, ask the Spirit to give you the gift of being present to your life overseas and to the challenges and blessings it has for you. To help you awake to your “right now” and what it has to teach you. To see the movement of the Lord in and through you, and feel it all, and remember that it all belongs. Yes, what a gift.
What gifts are you seeing in your season of waiting?
2 Responses
I was encouraged much by reading the piece about waiting today. Such a lesson for me, to be more present in the moment. To see the blessing in the opportunity that I had to share the Christmas story with my Buddhist friend and not to concentrate on waiting on the outcome, God will make the seed grow, I need to only be there and live each day in His joy and peace.
So good! I think you’ve kind of summed up the lesson I’ve been learning this last year. I’ve been waiting 14 months on a visa, after waiting several months on one that was denied before that. The number one thing I noticed in myself the first half of this year was how hard it was to be present in the complete unknown of the waiting. And the second half of the year, I’ve been sinking into it more and more and beginning to see the beauty of one of the strangest seasons of my life. I love how you call choosing presence in a period of waiting “defiance.” I feel that too, and it’s kind of confirming to have it named, so thank you for a beautiful article!