When Trust Requires Action

This leaving season was a real doozy.

If you’ve been an expat for a while, you can probably relate. Each year usually brings a season where people leave our host country and head to other postings or back to their passport country. Some of these years hit heavier than others. There are years that feel somewhat easier, when we don’t lose as many of our core people. But there are others that bring us to our knees with grief over the shattering of our community and the loss of our nearest and dearest. 

For my family, this is one of those years. It’s made me realize how lucky we have been. We’ve had a lot of difficulties in our almost seven years in Rwanda, but being surrounded by healthy community has never been one of them. We’ve always had our people, even if those people have shifted and changed over the years. We’ve been supported, encouraged, prayed for, and loved up-close, and it has been such a gift. We truly couldn’t have known the depths of it until now, when we feel the heaviness of this absence.

Often, when people begin to announce they are leaving, there is talk of “ties being loosened” and feeling like things are wrapping up and coming to a natural end. As my husband and I listened to this phrase coming repeatedly from those closest to us, we realized we were now being placed in the same position. So many of our core people were leaving—multiple families and individuals, people who are incredibly important to us. This meant that our ties were, too, being loosened. It wasn’t our choice, but it was happening around us all the same. Did this mean we needed to leave, too?

Prayer and discernment told us to stay put. That this wasn’t our time to leave Rwanda. It was immediately clear to us, both my husband and me, which was a gift in itself. But over the last six months, as we’ve said an impossible number of hard goodbyes, trusting that we made the right call has proved a challenging task. Hard days, both personally and professionally, only compound our doubt. We wonder, did we hear correctly? Are we still in the right place? 

At the time, the trust required of us was mostly passive. Stay in Rwanda. Grieve your losses. Put your faith in God’s provision and know that he will bring you new people and raise up current friends into stronger relationships. It was a heart posture, a knowing, an abstraction we were believing in. It wasn’t easy, but it was more internal than anything else. 

But now, the rubber must meet the road. Many times in my life where trust felt like a vague action, maybe even more of a feeling or a mindset, this season has required active movement on our part. Trusting God through a season of personal grief and social upheaval has become a very tangible, measurable walk of obedience as we work it out in real time.

What does active trust look like right now?

It means stepping out of our comfort zones to make new friends. 

Inviting families over that we don’t know well. 

Praying diligently for friends for our children and even allocating money for new social activities for them to build connections. 

Saying yes to coffees and lunches we might not have a year ago. 

Throwing ourselves headlong into rebuilding a church community that was decimated by the pandemic.

Putting social rhythms in place on faith that those relationships will grow if we put in the time. Sometimes it has even meant moments of vulnerability before the time felt completely appropriate, simply because we needed to bridge gaps faster than we did before. 

Steps of faith. 

Active, tangible movements of trust.

And you know what? We are seeing the fruit of this trust even now. Slowly, faithfully, the Lord is sowing seeds of hope in our hearts. Showing us glimpses of what is to come. 

Maybe you find yourself in a season where trust is internal, a heart posture, a mindset. I pray the Lord rewards your trust with encouragement and overwhelming peace that what you’re believing will come to fruition with perfect timing. May you feel his presence and goodness surround you as you trust in his work. 

Perhaps, like us, you find yourself in a season where trust takes the form of measurable actions. May the Lord grant you the energy and strength to physically walk out that obedience, and may you see glimpses of that thing you’re hoping for and working toward as you do. May you feel the Lord’s presence with you in each conversation, every piece of paperwork, each phone call and message and email, and every walk down the street. May you know with certainty that no step of faith or obedience is wasted or unseen. 

And friend, if you find yourself in a season where you are trusting, but you feel discouraged and there aren’t many seeds of hope in your heart, I encourage you to reach out to a trusted friend, mentor, or colleague. We all go through seasons where our doubts become burdensome and we become tired. These burdens are meant to be shared in community amongst fellow believers. When we are exhausted and disillusioned, our brothers and sisters can believe in hope and trust on our behalf. We’re here. Believing for you, even on the days you can’t.

Does trust feel like more of an internal heart posture or active step right now? How can we encourage you in this season as you keep trusting?