The God Who Sees Me

As I unpacked my desk for another school year in August, I realized I had truly become the
“hedgehog lady”.

Hedgehogs have always been one of my favorite animals, even to the point of
looking into getting one as a pet after college. In introducing myself to my students each year, I tell them that hedgehogs are one of the things that bring me joy. There were now five hedgehogs sitting on
the edge of my desk—only one of which I brought myself—the others given to me by students.
Students often tell me of their own hedgehog sightings and send me pictures of hedgehog
paraphernalia found in their travels. It always makes me feel known and loved.

God also has funny ways of reminding me of his love and his faithfulness, but I really truly believe
these things show up at just the right moments to remind me that God is looking after me and he
cares about the little things.

I remember one of my very first nights in my host country. It had been a long journey so far, featuring water issues keeping us from being able to move into our apartment right away, a lack of Wi-Fi, and therefore no communication with family back in the States, and an overwhelming amount of new information to take in. I was tired and a bit discouraged. My roommate and I were walking around the neighborhood to go to a new friend’s house when I spotted it.

“Look, it’s a hedgehog!” I exclaimed excitedly. It took everything in me not to rush over and overwhelm the poor thing with my love and affection.

I had no idea hedgehogs were even native to this country, but it felt like this was God’s reminder that he had me in the right place and that he was here too. He knew the ways to my heart. He knew what I loved and needed and wasn’t too busy to put those things in my path to make me feel loved and known when I felt so very far from home.

Our God is a God who sees us.

I think of Hagar in her time of feeling so alone, used, and outcast.

“Then Sarai mistreated Hagar; so she fled from her.” (Genesis 16:6b, NIV)

Hagar flees, understandably. She’s been horribly mistreated and reacts like many of us when this happens. She isolates. She gives up. She runs.

I’ve lived abroad for four years, and overall it has been a fairly easy ride. I’ve loved taking in all the local food, enjoyed the tea and hospitality of my host culture, and most days, feel like this is home. However, this calling has not been without days where I, too, have reacted and felt like Hagar.

Someone mistreats me because I’m a foreigner; I want to flee. I have difficulty ordering bread at the grocery store; I sometimes just walk out defeated. I can’t communicate what I want to communicate in a conversation with a local; I apologize and then give up. It would be so much easier to run away from it. God, I cry. Why am I here if you’re going to let people mistreat and misunderstand me?

I lose hope in the people God has called me to serve. My heart feels hardened. I feel unseen and unknown.

But then—just when I feel like giving up—God sends something to remind me that he’s here with me, that he sees me, that he cares about me and the troubles of my heart.

“The angel of the Lord found Hagar near a spring in the desert; it was the spring that is beside the road to Shur. And he said, ‘Hagar, servant of Sarai, where have you come from, and where are you going?’

‘I’m running away from my mistress Sarai,’ she answered.

Then the angel of the Lord told her, ‘Go back to your mistress and submit to her.’ Then the angel added, ‘I will so increase your descendants that they will be too numerous to count.’

The angel of the Lord also said to her:

‘You are now with child and you will have a son. You shall name him Ishmael, for the Lord has heard of your misery.’” (Genesis 16:7–11, NIV)

For Hagar, it was an angel who came and literally told her that God heard her and would bless her. He didn’t say, “Yes, keep running.” Rather, he told her to go back and do what God had called her to, promised to bless her, and reminded her that God heard her and saw her.

“She gave this name to the Lord who spoke to her: ‘You are the God who sees me,’ for she said, ‘I have now seen the One who sees me.’” (Genesis 16:13, NIV)

For Hagar, it was an angel. For me, it’s often hedgehogs.

There was one night recently, after some difficult, frustrating conflict with a local in our building, that I was out walking the dog and talking to a friend on the phone. I told her how difficult it was, how mistreated I felt, and how helpless I felt in communicating these things. And then there it was—a hedgehog.

I stopped mid-sentence and just said out loud, “Wow, God must really love me!”

We serve a God who loves showing up in the details of his creation. Whether it be flowers, mountains, or hedgehogs, creation declares the glory and presence of our Lord. Oftentimes, we need those reminders that he is Provider. He is faithful and he will do it.

Maybe that hedgehog was just a coincidence, but I like to believe it was just for me.

How has God shown you his presence in unique ways? How has he provided for you when you need a reminder that he will?