The Encore My Soul Desperately Needs

She would always sit a few rows back from the stage in her usual aisle seat. With her cane firmly planted in the ground in front of her, she’d tap her able foot to the beat of the drums. You just could see it on her face. Her bashful smile was a dead giveaway of the intimacy she shared with the Lover of her soul. And as she’d faithfully join the choruses of praise that ascended to the Lord each Sunday, none would bring her to her feeble feet more than this offering:

I will not suffer

I will not beg for bread

God is my Provider

That’s what the Bible said

Jehovah Jireh, oh!

Jehovah Jireh, oh!

Jehovah Jireh, oh!

Jehovah Jireh, oh!

From the song’s very intro, joy flooded in and not even her declining health could stop her from shuffling into the middle of the aisle and dancing like no one was watching. The praise of a humble servant, a telling testament to the One who had supplied her every need. And with one hand outstretched and eyes raised heavenward, she’d keep declaring the words of that chorus long after the final note was played, her persistency giving way to the band striking up an encore.

An encore my soul desperately needs to be reminded of.

Like David in Psalm 37:25, Sister Thompson was well along in years. Years that surely had been tried by circumstances, troubled by infirmities, and tested by the adversary. Yet her song was not one of suffering or abandonment. Yes, she may have been frail, but she was far from weak. She may have been modest, but she was far from unseen. She may have known the depths of pain, but she was far from the chasm of hopelessness. 

And as she unapologetically sounded her song of gratitude in the middle of that aisle, it was evident that her Provider had been faithful, an ever-present help in times of trouble. It was evident that the Holy Spirit had granted her an inexplicable peace this broken world could never afford. It was evident that she was feeding securely on the faithfulness of God. It was evident that God’s unwavering provision in her past gave her every confidence in his deliberate providence for her future.     

So it should be with me.

Because, like Sister Thompson, I can look back and see how God has provided for me over two decades of living this overseas life. Like the air miles he supplied through friends so that I could take life-giving trips back to my hometown in the first years of needing that familiarity. Or the contributions he provided through strangers that supplemented the expenses of an unplanned surgery. Or how he made a way for a mentor to go the extra mile by seeking the best help when my anxiety was at its worst. Or how he proves every day that I am worth more than the sparrows, preserving my family and me in the most difficult economic environment of our lifetime so that we may continue to abound in every good work.

Make no mistake about it—God is a father who knows how to give good gifts.

But I confess, lately I’ve been so enamored with the mountains I’ve been asking my Provider to move that I have sometimes lost sight of his supply of daily bread. I confess that I’ve not been as diligent to notice the mercies of a new day and the gift of this borrowed breath. I confess that I’ve been too consumed by the desires of my heart that are yet to be fulfilled that I’m missing the grace of presence in those who are sitting around the table with me today. Indeed, I confess that I’ve been lamenting more and laughing less. I’ve been anxiously wandering in the weight of uncertainty instead of expectantly wondering in the wait of One who graciously gives all things—even his only Son (Romans 8:32).

You should know, I’m letting that “even” sit for a minute.

I mean, if the Lord did not withhold, but provided his greatest gift to the world in Jesus, why would I ever doubt that his provision for me would be anything but good? Why should my confidence ever wane from this truth?

“And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:19 ESV)

My God. The Provider.

Will supply. The Promise.

Every need. The Provision.

In Christ Jesus. The Path.

Oh, Bread of Life, your Word reminds my wandering heart that you are my daily sustenance and eternal satisfaction. That your light provides direction in these darkened days that seek to unnerve me. That, as the Gate, you furnish green pastures and protection from the enemy.

Good Shepherd, your Word reminds me that I am saved because of your sacrifice. That the Resurrection and the Life has handed me victory over death and that the Way, the Truth, and the Life offers access to the Father in the face of my light and momentary troubles.

True Vine, your Word reminds me that you are supplying me with strength and vitality so that, even amid the waiting, I can still bear much fruit. I can still strike up that encore of praise and declare:

I will not suffer

I will not beg for bread

God is my Provider

That’s what the Bible said

In what way(s) has God provided for you in the past that gives you confidence in his providence for your future?