I have a love-hate relationship with our theme for this month. I need it and I’ve been hurt by it. So as I struggled to figure out how to begin this blog, I decided to ask ChatGPT to create a riddle. The answer is our theme.
In love and friendship, I play a vital role,
A delicate balance to keep one’s soul whole.
I’m not a wall, yet a line drawn with care,
Respecting emotions, making connections rare.
Too close, and discomfort starts to grow,
Yet too distant, the warmth may not show.
I’m the art of saying “yes” or “no” with grace,
In the intricate dance of personal space.
What am I in the bonds that two hearts share,
A concept essential, showing love and care?
Answer: BOUNDARIES.
Ugh.
Be honest. What do you feel when you see that word?
Some of us are so afraid of letting others down that we can’t imagine putting a boundary in place that could mean we have to say no to someone or something.
Some of us are so GOOD at saying no that our boundaries have closed us off from any potential for hurt (and joy and real relationship?).
Some of us have vacillated wildly from one extreme to the other over our time serving others.
What have you learned about yourself and the boundaries needed to walk the tightrope? (In my mind The Greatest Showman soundtrack just started playing “Tightrope”)
Did you find yourself so motivated by the great needs around you that you worked yourself into near burnout by trying to fix and do it all?
Have you been so protective of your longevity that your boundaries have taken idol status and someone better not have a crisis outside of where your lines have fallen?
Humanly I don’t think we can ever get the formula just right. But the writer of Psalm 16 shows us this conversation has been going on for a long time. And just maybe in their wrestling we can learn and have a hope for a settledness over this boundary fight.
Lord, you alone are my portion and my cup;
you make my lot secure.
The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places;
surely I have a delightful inheritance.
I will praise the Lord, who counsels me;
even at night my heart instructs me.
I keep my eyes always on the Lord.
With him at my right hand, I will not be shaken.
Psalms 16:5-8 (NIV)
There is peace for me in reading that. It’s like I get to sit at the feet of an old friend who has wrestled and settled this for themselves. And in their wisdom and peace, I find hope and joy for myself, and my struggle.
What would it have been like if you could have read a letter from your future self? Your self that has lived and learned and could offer hope to you at your most restless moments?
Well that’s what we decided to do all month long. We get to sit at the feet of four writers from our community as they write “Dear Me” letters to who they were in the early days of serving.
No ChatGPT needed to explain the blessings that these letters have in store for you..
We hope that all month long through these honest transparent writings, you’ll find encouragement and hope for your relationship with boundaries.
Do you struggle with this concept? Either with yourself or with the boundaries chosen by others? We are a unique group trying to maximize the impact of the gospel by adjusting where we let these lines lay. Somewhere near maximum output just a hair shy of burnout seems to be where lots of us seem to be aiming.
We welcome your thoughts, questions or sharing what you’ve learned in the comments all month long.
