My childhood dream was to be a teacher and a cross-cultural worker. After college and a few years of job searching and dipping my toe in the public school sector, God orchestrated for me to get my dream job in an amazing way—teaching at a Christian international school in Ghana! While here, God has fulfilled other dreams of mine: getting married, completing my masters, becoming principal in my school, finding a community of people with similar faith, making lasting friendships, and growing so much in my faith and walk with the Lord. My life is good. I’m so thankful for everything God has given me. And yet . . .
There always seems to be that yet, doesn’t there? So many dreams have been fulfilled in my life, and yet, sometimes I find myself longing for something else, something more. More money, more children, a different personality, a better body. The big bad monster of comparison often catches me unaware, and I quickly start to spiral into a sea of discontentment.
I don’t think I’m alone in this. Social media, TV shows, movies, and books are constantly telling us we need more, we need better. Studies show that at least 10 percent of our thoughts revolve around comparison1. Sometimes this leads us to improve ourselves, but often, these thoughts lead to misplaced guilt, deep dissatisfaction, or, in some cases, destructive behaviors.
There’s a story that takes place after Jesus’s resurrection that’s tucked in the last chapter of John. Jesus asks Peter three times to feed his sheep (21:15–17). The last time Jesus charges Peter to follow him no matter what—even unto death (v 18). Peter’s response? He looks at his friend and asks, “What about him?” I love Jesus’s response: “If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? You must follow me” (John 21:22 NIV, emphasis mine).
Jesus didn’t berate Peter for his lack of understanding of the bigger picture. He didn’t condemn Peter for trying to compare and possibly covet the life of his friend. Instead, he reminded Peter of two things: Who was in charge and what Peter’s focus should be.
Jesus reminded Peter that his life (and death) were in Jesus’s hands—the One who just conquered death for all eternity! Jesus was reminding Peter that he was the One who ordained each of Peter’s days before one of them came to be (Psalm 139:16) and he was the One who would give him a living hope that would never fade (1 Peter 1:4).
I believe Jesus says the same to us when we start to ask, “Well, what about her?” When we compare our children (or lack of) to another or when we start to covet our friend’s better job or more outgoing personality, I pray that the Holy Spirit will remind us of what Jesus says: “What is that to you, my daughter, you must follow me. You must trust me and the plans I have for your life.”
God knows what the best things for our lives are and he will make them happen in his perfect timing. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to completely turn off comparison in my brain. But I know that if I can focus on these truths, I won’t spiral like I’ve sometimes struggled with in the past.
I will leave you with this. We’re reminded in 1 Timothy 6:6, “Godliness with contentment is great gain” (NIV). Being content and choosing to follow and obey Christ will bring us great gain. More than a better <fill in the blank> could ever bring us.
1 “Social Comparison Theory.” Psychology Today, Sussex Publishers, www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/social-comparison-theory. Accessed 14 Sept. 2024.
