A Heart Postured to Receive God’s Love

 “Give me everyone you depend on, everyone you feel you need,” the tender voice of the Holy Spirit impressed on my TCK heart. “I alone can satisfy you.”

The distance from my childhood home and my parents in Papua New Guinea and the adjustment to life in my passport country, the US, had caught up with me. My attempts to find belonging and love in my new setting had failed. I was alone.

But I had God. My desperation hurled me to him in a fresh way and I learned that he was enough. Sobbing, I released all the people I clung to for my life. Mom, Dad, my sisters, college roommates, friends—no other relationship (except a spouse, I reasoned) would occupy that much of my heart ever again.

For the next few years, Jesus and I grew close and I prepared to serve him vocationally. Then God gave me a husband and we headed into ministry overseas. I didn’t realize it then, but even though I knew that friends and family could not meet my needs, I expected more from my husband. I had simply waited to latch all my pent-up needs onto him. Consequently, he soon replaced God as the “lover of my soul”.

It’s no wonder that not long after we said “I do,” I sensed my husband pulling away from me emotionally. As I clung tighter, he withdrew more. I felt rejected and unloved. When he could not love me the way I demanded, disappointment began to grow in my heart. In time, it became so full of him and my disappointment that I could no longer receive God’s love.

I could relate to Rachel who begged her husband to give her children or she’d die (Gen. 30:1)! She even schemed and manipulated others in her desperate attempt to get what she believed would fill her. Her heart was so crowded with her desire that no room existed to receive God’s love.

A crowded heart is not the only reason our hearts cannot receive God’s love. Consider these other biblical examples.

Martha’s preparations distracted her and caused her to worry and get upset about many things. She was too busy (even doing good deeds) to stop, sit, and receive Jesus’ love (Luke 10:40–41).

Naomi suffered great loss. Her husband and two sons died. She had no heirs, no inheritance, and no home. Convinced that God was against her, she felt abandoned and doubted God’s love. Perhaps he cared for others, but not her (Ruth 1:13).

Michal had a heart filled with contempt toward her husband, King David. Her scorn (often accompanied by unforgiveness) blocked any kind of love—much less God’s love—from getting into her heart (2 Sam. 6:16).

Tamar was a desolate woman—the tragic victim of rape by her half-brother. Even if she wanted it, any love shown to her immediately leaked out of the holes of her wounded heart (2 Sam. 13:20).

Instead of a crowded, busy, doubting, blocked, or wounded heart, I found the healthy alternative in the example of Mary of Bethany. By sitting at Jesus’ feet and listening to what he said, she displayed a heart postured to receive God’s love until it filled to the brim and overflowed to those around her (Luke 10:28).

When I confessed my idolatry of my husband and turned to God to satisfy my need for love, I finally heard God’s still small voice saying to me over and over, “I love you. You are my treasure (Deut. 26:18) and my delight (Isa. 62:4). My lavish love is enough to fill you until you overflow (1 John 3:1).”

I began to follow Mary’s example to receive the love God had offered all along. I saturated myself in love verses and songs until I truly believed and knew deep in my heart that I was loved by him. Finally, I could interact with my spouse, my children, my teammates, and those I ministered to, not begging to get love, but with a full heart overflowing with his love.

What is keeping you from receiving God’s lavish love? Is your heart crowded, busy, doubting, blocked, or wounded, or is it overflowing?

Regularly sit at Jesus’ feet. Be still and listen to him. Confess the idols of your heart, believe God loves you, remove any blocks of contempt or unforgiveness, and seek healing for your wounds. Let him pour his love into your heart until it overflows to others.

“I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of the fullness of God” (Eph. 3:17–19 NIV).

12 Comments

  1. Ruth April 19, 2023

    Love this thank you.

  2. Nancy Rempel April 21, 2023

    Thank you for this short, insightful, and vulnerable piece, Eva. You have arrived at exactly the right conclusions. With the bonus of a husband set free!
    Nancy Rempel

    1. Eva Burkholder April 22, 2023

      Yes! I have been enjoying the fruits of this journey for awhile now and I am grateful for God’s lavish love.

  3. Phyllis April 22, 2023

    Thank you for this. Could you share some of the love verses and songs you saturated yourself with?

    1. Eva Burkholder April 22, 2023

      Happy to, Phyllis. I have a playlist on my phone called “Lavish Love.” My list will expose my age, but some on the list are: Good Good Father, Goodness of God, O the Deep Deep Love, Forever Reign (One Sonic Society), Friend of God, Your Love is Extravagant, You have Been Good (Twila Paris), Never Been Unloved (Michael W Smith), How He Loves (John Mark McMillan): Verses: Is 62:3-5, Zeph 3:17, Dt 7:6, 1 John 3:1, Rom 8:35-39, Ps 45:11, Dt 1:31, Jn 15:15, Jer 3:19, Is 49:16. There are more, but I think you’ll find them more meaningful if you discover them yourself. Ask the Lord to speak his love to you and give you eyes to see it in every scripture and all around you. I encourage you to start your own lists.

  4. Jenny April 22, 2023

    Thank you for these words. Just what I needed to read today.

    1. Eva Burkholder April 22, 2023

      I’m so glad to hear this, Jenny. May God’s love surround you and become so evident in all you see, read, and hear.

  5. Mary November 11, 2023

    I too am very grateful for all you have shared of you journey of the Fathers love and how it has transformed your life … I so need to experience this in my own life. Please pray for me .
    Blessings Mary

    1. Eva November 16, 2023

      I will pray for you, Mary, that God will pour his lavish love into your heart, that he will reveal what might be keeping you from experiencing it, and give you the help and resources you need to open your heart to know his love deeply and personally.

  6. Sandra November 27, 2023

    Hi Eva
    I had no idea we were supposed to INTENTIONALLY receive God’s love, it’s something that I have recently learned(a few hours ago). I’m sooo grateful for this piece, it’s really what I needed. Thank you. May God bless you!!!!!

    1. Eva Burkholder November 28, 2023

      I’m so glad this was helpful, Sandra. I do think God loves us so deeply that he will continue to woo us, speak to us, and teach us how he loves us. I don’t want to convey that it’s all up to us to “get the right posture” before we can receive his love. But we also aren’t passive in the process. That’s what my story is about. Removing any blocks and making the time and space to know we are loved. May God show you how lavishly he loves you.

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