Finding My Footing Again

I made myself roll out of bed this morning. Lately, I’ve made myself roll out of bed every morning.

I used to be a morning person. You know, one of those people. The perky, get up and go, “I’m going to crush it today” kind of morning person. Yep, that was me. My rhythm was set to the same routine day in and day out—and I liked it that way. No surprises. Few missteps. No waiting. It felt like the one area that I could control in this overseas life. The one area that brought the gift of structure and a form of purpose. The one area that had some semblance of how I envisioned life was going to be, with kisses goodbye at school drop-offs and warm hellos at the office door.  It was my morning’s dance, and I was comfortably leading it to the beat of my own drum.

Was being the operative word, though.

These days, everything has changed. Including me.  And I confess that I’m having trouble finding my footing.  The security I once found in my secular job has been upended one natural occurrence at a time. The methodical rush of the morning routine has been decelerated to the incoherent script of whatever the day holds. The life goals that seemed to be on stream abruptly altered leaving so many boxes unticked. And the “I’m going to crush it today” get up and go girl has all but got up and gone.

Yes, the immutable disruptions of the past six years have left me tired, burnt out, bewildered, grieved, and, in some ways, unrecognizable. The beat of my own drum has quieted and I have been completely out of rhythm. I honestly feel a bit like Jehoshaphat in 2 Chronicles 20. Facing a coalition of armies bent on defeating the people of Judah, Jehoshaphat comes to the realization that his army doesn’t have the manpower to defeat such a faction. So, he surrenders. Not to the enemy, but to God, saying to Him,

“We do not know what to do, but our eyes are on you.” (2 Chronicles 20:12)

In a season of what feels like I’m facing a vast routing of my own, there’s a lot to be learned from the rhythms of Jehoshaphat here.

The first being this:  Seek the help of the Lord.

Verse 3 tells us that Jehoshaphat was alarmed by the approaching armies. Alarmed. Anxious. Afraid. All natural responses to upheavals in our lives, aren’t they? So, give yourself the grace to experience those emotions when your rhythms are undone, but, like Jehoshaphat, don’t stay there in your feelings. Instead, be resolved to get in a rhythm of seeking the Lord as your vital need.

The second is this:  The beat of my own drum will only carry me so far.

Jehoshaphat knew that his army could not win the battle without the help of the Lord, and he confessed it as he continued to passionately seek the Lord in verse 12 – “We don’t know what to do…” Maybe you are saying the same.  Maybe you just don’t know how to operate in the rhythms that an overseas life can thrust upon you. Maybe the only thing you do know is that you can’t do this anymore in your own strength. It’s okay to get in the rhythm of confessing that. Actually, it’s necessary that we do.

The third is this:  It’s not my dance to lead.

After confessing his insufficiencies, Jehoshaphat turned his focus from the problem to the Solution, inviting God to take the reins with these six words of surrender, “but my eyes are on you.” I must ask, where is your focus at? Where’s mine been? Has it been on the situations that are overwhelming our souls? Situations that have perhaps caused us to step into the rhythms of the world and out of rhythm with God? Or has it been on the One that so compassionately offers, “Come to Me?” (Matthew 11:28)

See, He wants to be invited to take the reins in the battles we are facing. He wants to be invited to lead us with His yoke that is easy and His burden that is light. Friend, He wants us to be in a rhythm where our eyes are fixed not on our inabilities, but solely on Him.

The fourth is this:  You can crush it today with a rhythm of praise.

In verses 21-22, we see that Jehoshaphat appointed men at the head of the army to sing praises to God. Probably not the most conventional of battle plans, but guess what? As the men began to praise, the Lord sent an ambush on the coalition that came against Judah and they were soundly defeated.  Defeated, not by weaponry, but by songs of thanksgiving to God. Wow!

To the girl who thinks her get up and go has all but got up and gone, think again. Because no matter the vast battles you may be facing today—no matter your alarm, your insufficiencies, or not knowing what to do, you can still crush it today with a rhythm of praise. Praise to the same God who set the rhythm of His creation in motion and said it was good.  Praise to the same God whose very Son established a rhythm of thanksgiving that preceded miracles. And praise to the same God who sets the rhythm of victory in our lives with His defeat over the grave.

Yeah, these days, everything has changed. Including me. But I’m finding my footing again.

What rhythms do you find in the Bible that have helped you to adapt to the changing seasons of life?