A Google search of Christmas crafts for kindergarteners left me laughing to myself. I don’t think my Papua New Guinea students would feel very connected to paper snowflakes, cotton ball snowmen, and red-nosed reindeer clothespin crafts.
Unlike in my passport country, here the Christmas season falls during the hottest part of the year. Instead of activities gearing into full speed in December, November is the month with lots of end-of-the-year close-up parties. December often feels eerily quiet as a mass exodus takes place as many people leave the city to spend the long holiday in their respective villages.
There is no white Christmas, hot chocolate, or roasting chestnuts on an open fire. It can be jarring when traditions that once brought a comforting glow no longer fit in the context where you live. There is often a forced stripping away and slow rebuilding of traditions as the awkward dance of fitting a life-that- once-was into a new life begins. This can involve a lot of trial and error. Which recipes are actually still possible with substitutions and import prices? Which traditions are worth replicating and which ones are best left in their original passport country? What new memories and rhythms might just become family favorites? Maybe picnics at the beach replace a sledding party and local foods start to make an appearance on a new version of the holiday menu.
While snowflakes may not mean much to my students, what they do understand is giving and receiving gifts, a fairly universal practice it seems. They are already excited for the annual secret friend exchange—happy to choose a gift to give and excited as they anticipate receiving one. James 1:17 tells us that “Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change” (ESV). What a comfort, in this constantly changing life, to have a perfect heavenly Father who does not change. He loves to give his children gifts. Sometimes we just have to open up our eyes to find them.
Last week, I was having a hard cultural day. At 24-weeks pregnant, none of my shorts were fitting. I had plenty of tops, but if my one pair of maternity shorts was in the laundry, I was out of luck. I was mentally grumbling in anticipation of hitting the secondhand shops, hoping desperately for something to fit. Where is Target when you need it? I longed to just pop in, go straight to the maternity section, find clothing in sizes I was used to, and move on with life. But alas, there is no Target here.
The first shop yielded nothing apart from adding to my inner misery. There was nothing close to my size or the style I was hoping for. As my husband dropped me off at the second shop, my expectations and energy were running low. “Why do simple errands have to take the whole morning?” But, surprisingly, this shop proved to be different. Within the space of ten minutes, I had an armful of options all for around fifteen dollars. With no place to try anything on, I headed home slightly hopeful that at least one or two might fit. I was shocked when all but one pair fit perfectly. Even the material was light and stretchy—an amazing gift in this smoldering climate. Thank you, Lord, I silently prayed, feeling like Christmas had just come early. You really do know how to give good gifts to your children.
His gifts are always there. El Roi sees us and knows us even as we navigate changing traditions and fluid lifestyles. His gifts are still good, even though holidays might look different than they once did. For me, holidays now include secondhand clothing finds. Christmas falls during mango season and involves an annual cookie swap with expat friends from all over the globe. The holidays usually include watching my kids performing elaborate dances with their local friends during an outdoor church service. The holiday season now involves sticky heat and the occasional sunburn. It also includes the most beautiful Thanksgiving potluck-style meal on a Sunday afternoon where the Americans are often in the minority. Sweet new traditions and yearly gifts that I’m learning to appreciate, new joys that comfort my wandering soul.
How has the way you practice the holidays changed since living overseas? Do you have any new favorite traditions? What gifts has the Father given, just for you, that remind you of his love even in the midst of the unfamiliar?
Reading today’s piece on the differences in the way we celebrate Christmas, made me think of how difficult it is for my daughter and myself at this time of the year. We are reasonably new missionaries here in Thailand. I have done missions in China before, my daughter is a first time missionary. I thank God every day for sending us together. We come from South Africa, so we are use to warm Christmas weather, here we are in the northern hemisphere, but our days as still very hot. Here Christmas is not really celebrated though. It is a normal working dat. We are moving into a new house the day before Christmas. We pleaded with agents to change dates for us, to prevent us from having to sit at immigration to do our form TM 30( a form stapled into your passport 24 hours after you change address)
For us the cultural differences is double, not only do we have to learn a new language and get use to a very different culture, temples around every corner, the other missionaries are mostly American. The Americans often do not understand us, we have to try and speak “American” Some Americans do understand us, but some battles with our accents and the different words we use. My language teacher has no problem in understanding me, she is use to different nationalities, she says my accent is more British. The few New Zealanders and Australians we’ve met, and the English speaking Chinese has no problem, but most of the Americans has a hard time following our conversation. They bring in their own traditions and ways, and here we are, 2 South Africans, feeling so lonely, we can’t even relax and be ourselves between the other missionaries.
Hello Helen! That is so awesome that you and your daughter are doing missions together! I’ve never met older children doing missions with their families, so that must be terribly exciting and comforting to do missions together. I can only imagine the “culture shock” in moving to a new and very different culture, but also the culture shock that you are feeling with the other American missionaries, I’m sorry that they haven’t been very welcoming and that you feel lonely. 🙁 Hoping that the both of you will still be able to celebrate Christmas even if it won’t be an “ideal”one perhaps this year and praying that in the next couple of months that the Lord will bring some good friends along your path where everyone can share together.
Thank you Malia, but I must say the Americans here are really lovely people. I don’t think they realise how different we feel here. And yes our Christmas will be very different, financially we cannot afford to have special meals or gift this year, but we will still celebrate Jesus.
Thank you for your kind words.
How special that you and your daughter are able to do mission work together. Saying a prayer for you today as there are so many aspects of changing cultures and then working among a variety of cultures that can be so hard especially around the holidays. I’ve been so blessed this past year to make a new friend from South Africa. She had me over to her house earlier this year and taught me how to make Koeksisters (hopefully I spelled that right). So yummy. The South African accent is one of my favourite accents.
Thank you Ruth, yes you spelled Koesisters, correct, and well done for being able to make them. So nice to hear someone say they like a South Africa accent. I asked a man this morning where he bought his mask from (the air is getting thick with smoke now that monsoon is over, farmers are burning) He had no idea what I said. Eventually I said, the thing you are wearing on your face. Then he understood. So I say maak with the a like in car, he say mask with the a like in apple, but I sometimes forget to speak American 😃
A “‘new tradition” at Christmas since I have been overseas has been celebrating Christmas with all of the “foreigners”, myself included, all those who are not able to fly back home to be with family. At my church here, an older couple likes to invite for the 25th, 10 people that are alone for the holiday, and she serves a traditional French meal. In years past and including this year with another fellow missionary couple, we will be organizing a pot-luck at the café that is linked to the church. I’m really looking forward to it, as so far, we are already 5 different nationalites. I really enjoy celebrating these holiday meals together with others from “all nations”, what I expect to find in the new heavens and earth one day, all of us celebrating and adoring Jesus Christ together. I can’t imagine celebrating Thanksgiving, Christmas or Easter any other way now!
What lovely new traditions. I also love the richness of celebrating with other nationalities. It feels like a taste of what heaven will be like. Growing up in DRC Congo my family would also invite over the single teachers from the nearby boarding school for pizza on Christmas Eve. We loved being spoiled by all of our “aunties” and “uncles”.