“Mom, I don’t want to be friends with people I’m just going to have to say goodbye to,” my nine-year-old declared on the second day of a recent conference. Cue Mama’s heart shattering.
This conference was our first in four years because the pandemic cancelled all the others in our part of the world. The number of people attending had dwindled to a small group, and my three kids made up 50 percent of the kids planning to attend. In the months leading up to the conference, I worked behind the scenes trying to find people to hang out with my kids so they would have a conference like they’ve always known. On my final try at networking, the Lord provided the perfect person to coordinate it all. She gathered expats that live in the area to put on a little program, brought her kids and friends’ kids to befriend ours, did outreach, and had such an amazing servant attitude. I have teared up many times thinking about this gift the Father didn’t have to provide, but did.
So when my daughter declared she didn’t want to be friends with the ones I had worked so hard to provide, my heart hurt with hers.
The TCK life is complex and I don’t pretend to understand it. I grew up pretty much in one house (where we still go back to on visits) in a small town. Sure, I had friends move in and out of my life . . . but they weren’t scattered across continents.
I tend to let the enemy plague me with mom guilt about this life we live overseas. There are countless things I grew up doing in a typical American childhood that my kids don’t have access to. However, when those moments arise, I have to choose to let the Truth ring louder. They can speak another language, navigate airports like pros, engage with people of all ages, adapt quickly, and so much more. Even more than these here-and-now advantages, I have to remind myself that the sacrifices our family makes to serve overseas are not unseen by the Father.
“And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or lands, for my name’s sake, will receive a hundredfold and will inherit eternal life.” Matthew 19:29 (ESV)
Oftentimes my heart longs for normalcy. In recent years, everything around me has been far from normal! Then I’m reminded again . . . this life on earth is anything but what the Father had planned for us in the beginning. The longing in our hearts is for him and his perfect Home. As I’m reminded of this in the midst of the latest chaos or teammate leaving, I remind my kids the same. If we can keep our eyes fixed on the eternal things, our earthly lives will be so much sweeter.
My daughter ended up becoming friends with the other girls at the conference after all. She couldn’t help being drawn in when the girls would part ways to go change clothes to swim, and they would hug and declare, “See you in five minutes!” When they had to say the final goodbye, my daughter mumbled, “Bye, probably never see you again.” I swooped in to encourage them by saying we could keep in touch and perhaps we’d be there next year for the conference, but also knowing her statement could very well be true. And so the conversations continue to acknowledge the kids’ varying emotions while continually pointing them to the Hope in the best that is yet to come.
What challenges do you face with the TCKs in your life? How do you help steer their hearts through all the big feels?
*****
This twist on coconut curry is a family fave. My kids will tell you I make curry a lot—we love it! This recipe is definitely in our rotation of curries. Enjoy!
Coconut Basil Chicken Curry
Makes: 6 servings
Ready in: 1.5 hours (including marinating time)
Slightly adapted from: Mel’s Kitchen Cafe
Ingredients:
- 1 ½ pounds boneless, skinless chicken breasts or thighs
- 2 teaspoons curry powder
- 1 teaspoon salt, divided
- ¼ teaspoon chili powder
- 1 Tablespoon olive oil
- ½ cup red onion, finely diced
- 1 tablespoon dried basil
- 4 cloves garlic, finely minced
- 1-inch chunk fresh ginger, grated
- 1–2 medium jalapeño peppers, seeded and finely chopped (optional)
- 14-ounce can light or regular coconut milk
- 1 tablespoon cornstarch*
- Hot cooked rice, for serving
Instructions:
Cut chicken into 1-inch pieces and place in a medium bowl. Stir together curry, 1/2 teaspoon of the salt, and chili powder. Sprinkle over chicken, tossing to coat evenly. Cover and chill for 1 to 2 hours.
In a large nonstick frying pan, heat the oil over medium heat. Add the onion, basil, garlic, ginger, and peppers, and cook, stirring often, for 3–4 minutes, until the onion and peppers start to soften.
Add the chicken and remaining 1/2 teaspoon salt and cook over medium heat for 5–6 minutes, flipping the chicken now and then, until the chicken is cooked through.
Whisk together the coconut milk and cornstarch until well combined. Add the mixture to the skillet with the chicken, and whisk over medium heat until the sauce simmers and thickens, 5–6 minutes. Serve over hot, cooked rice.
*Adding a cornstarch slurry thickens the sauce to a gravy-like consistency. If you don’t like your sauce that thick, simply omit the cornstarch!
