Are My Feet Still Beautiful?

When I arrived on the field eight years ago, it was the fulfillment of ten years of praying for such an opportunity and dream to be realized. I was full of zeal, excitement and hope to finally be able to share God’s love and His message of good news with people who didn’t know Him. I brought with me a picture my mother had painted me of a woman’s legs and feet with red shoes. Surrounding this image were the words from Isaiah 52:7, “How beautiful on the mountains are the feet of those who bring good news.” I hung it up proudly in my new home as a reminder to me that I was one of those with beautiful feet!

Since that time, I have had many ups and downs, joys and losses, while living overseas. I quickly realized that I couldn’t really share any news with anyone without speaking the local language… and learning a language was HARD. Slowing down, becoming like a little child again and being dependent on others, stole a lot of thunder from my sails. However, with time I began to be able to do what I had come to my host country to do – share about Jesus! It filled me with so much joy to tell people about him. At the time, I was living in a very large city where we would go out in groups and meet people in parks, shops or cafes and strike up conversations with them. I am naturally a quiet person, but I felt the Holy Spirit enabling me to step out of my comfort zone and speak up about His goodness. It was a time that still fills me with a lot of joy.

I came to the field as a single woman and expected to stay that way since my options seemed pretty limited. I was more surprised than anyone when I met my future husband on the field! After our wedding, we began to have issues with my sending organization since my husband was not an American citizen. It was a heartbreaking time of loss for me after investing so many years in relationships and training with my former organization. I also got pregnant five months after we were married, so was thrown into motherhood right in the midst of this loss and transition.

Due to all these life and work changes, coming out on the other side, I found that I wasn’t sure what I should even be doing anymore! My identity had been very much centered around being a single woman serving on the field who had the freedom and time to interact with a lot of local people on a daily basis. I wasn’t sure how I was supposed to do those same things now with a little one under my feet. Could my feet still be beautiful? Was I still considered one of those “who bring good news”? I really wrestled with this.

No longer do I work for a large organization with a lot of support, training or opportunities for advancement. No longer do I have a team to go out and try to meet new people with. No longer do I have the time and capacity that I did as a single woman. So how do I continue to be faithful to what God has called me to do? How do I have beautiful feet?

God has met me in this season of hiddenness, of pouring myself into my family first. He has been so faithful. He has led me to other mothers who are in a season of busyness themselves, but longing for connection. He has led me to refugee women who are hurting and simply want someone to listen and love them in their pain. He has led me to serve among local believers with the capacity I have.

Over Christmas, we gathered together with our house church and a few guests. In the midst of preparing food, helping to host and chasing after my almost 2-year-old, I got to the end of the day and wondered if I did anything worth anything at all. That next week, one of the members of our house group came over to my house and we were talking about the gathering. She said, “My neighbor went home and told her husband that she couldn’t believe how you and your husband treated each other and helped each other with the food and taking care of your son.” The way we simply interacted, respected one another, served one another and loved one another was what impacted her the most that day.

Having beautiful feet and bearing the good news of Christ sometimes looks like sharing with words—maybe with friends or neighbors or even strangers on the street. Sometimes it looks like sitting and listening to those who are hurting. Sometimes it looks like thankless serving. Sometimes it means giving what you have away to the least of these. Sometimes it is just being who you are, loving your family, and letting God do the rest. Let’s not put God in a box. Let’s not make it about a number or a box to check on our list of things to do. God is so much bigger than that and He uses our five loaves and two fish, whatever we have to give, and makes it into something beautiful.

What are some ways God has been using you lately that maybe you thought were not worth celebrating? Ask Him to show you!