Charades, Frogs, and Privacy + PBJ Pancakes

We’ve been living in our country of service for nearly thirteen years. There are plenty of stories to share of awkward, confusing, culture-clashing moments. Here are a few of our best (that I can remember).

During our second year in-country, our middle child was just a baby. I stayed at home with the two boys, but would often take them outside for a walk around campus. The local grannies (who often took care of their grandchildren) would always try to ask so many questions, but I couldn’t speak the language yet. So I just smiled and said, “Sorry, I don’t understand you.” 

One day, one of the gardeners stopped me to admire the boys and begin asking questions—which I answered with my usual one-liner. He didn’t let my poor communication skills deter him. He proceeded to grab his chest as if they were breasts, then pointed at mine, then at the baby. It took a few awkward seconds to realize he was asking if I breastfed my baby. I quickly answered yes and moved on. 

One year, I taught a small group of first graders English. It was a challenging, raucous bunch of six-year-olds whose parents all said they knew “some” English, but really only knew a few words each. We spent the year learning the alphabet and some conversational phrases. Or at least that was my hope—who knows what those squirrely kiddos actually learned! 

After releasing them on the last day of class, I was walking through the complex towards my home when one of the parents insisted I go to their house where they’d been preparing a dinner to thank me. It was random and sudden, but I had grown semi-used to spontaneity at that point. After a quick call to tell my hubby that he and the kids would be on their own for dinner, I walked to my student’s home. Other students’ parents were already there, bustling about, cooking and prepping dinner. They had me sit down at the table with the kids to join them for the appetizers before the dumplings were ready. They promptly sat down a plate of unidentifiable food. At the time, my language skills were pretty slim. After consulting my dictionary, I learned we’d be eating frogs. I thought to myself, “No big deal. People in my passport country eat frogs all the time. I can do this.” I plucked a tiny leg (sadly, not fried, like I’d seen in the US) and attempted to eat it without making too many faces. I ate it without too much strain, but one was enough. On another plate, the bodies of the frogs lay sprawled out. The next thing I knew, several of my students were using their chopsticks to pull open the abdomens, fish out the black stomachs, and pop them in their mouths. I’m pretty sure my mouth hung open at that point. I had to say “no, thanks” several times to their offers of frog stomach. It’s not very polite to deny trying something, but I had to draw the line when my own stomach’s functionality was on the line!

Privacy isn’t as important in this country as it is in my own cultural background. At the hospital, the doctor leaves the door open and people congregate in the doorway to listen to your consultation. In the restroom, there may or may not be doors on the stalls; sometimes there’s just a hanging piece of cloth that people will swipe open completely to see if anyone is using that stall . . . all while you’re there, squatting with your pants at your ankles! Older bathrooms are “trough style” where you straddle and squat over a declining trough to do your business. Thankfully, the only time I used that kind, no one else was there! In villages, there is usually just a hole in the ground and sometimes a toilet seat balancing over it. To avoid these circumstances, bladder control is a highly needed skill. But after birthing three children, it’s one I struggle with! 

Cultural mishaps are bound to happen—they’re a natural occurrence when living overseas. Giving ourselves grace and learning to laugh at a situation (perhaps later, after the embarrassment wears off!) can help us endure the next awkward situation. I’ve learned over the years that taking time and making the effort to learn the perspectives and reasons behind the locals’ actions (through books, blogs, and conversations) has helped me not only understand and acclimate better, but also to extend grace when I may disagree with how something is handled. I’ve had to repeat to myself often over the years that this culture isn’t wrong as much as it is just plain different. 

What great “awkward moment” stories do you have to share? What has helped you dive deeper into understanding the culture you serve?

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I’m always on the hunt for a quick breakfast. While in the US last year, we let the kids enjoy cereal nearly every day since it’s so much harder to get (affordably) where we serve. Now that we’re back, it’s time to start filling their bellies with other yummy breakfasts! I’m a no-fuss-breakfast kinda gal, and these pancakes satisfy my kids’ endless requests for pancakes without the time-consuming flipping! This recipe is so easy, they can even make it! I often double the batch because the original serving only lasts a day or two!

Peanut Butter and Jelly Baked Pancakes

Makes: 12 squares

Ready in: 35 minutes

Slightly adapted from: Nadiya Hussain

• 3 heaping Tbsp jam
• 3 Tbsp peanut butter (or any nut butter)
• 2 cups (250g) all-purpose flour
• 1 tsp baking powder
• ½ tsp salt
• 3 Tbsp sugar
• ¾ cup (170ml) milk
• 2 large eggs
• 2 Tbsp vegetable oil
• Splash of vanilla
• Confectioners’ sugar, for dusting (optional)

1. Put the jam into a microwave-safe bowl and heat it in 10-second bursts, stirring each time until the mixture is liquid enough to swirl around. Set aside.
2. Preheat the oven to 350°F(180°C). Spray an 8-inch(20cm) square baking pan with cooking oil or lightly coat with butter.
3. Add the flour, baking powder, salt, and sugar into a bowl and whisk together. Make a well in the center and add the milk along with the eggs, oil, and vanilla. Whisk together until you have a thick batter. (You can store it overnight to bake in the morning if desired.)
4. Pour the batter into the prepared pan and spread out evenly. Take dollops of the jam and spoon them in sporadically, then do the same for the peanut butter. With the end of a spoon, swirl the dollops together slightly to create a marbled effect.
5. Bake in the oven for 25–30 minutes. As soon as the surface of the pancake looks matte and is not wobbly anymore, it is ready. Remove from the oven and let cool 5 minutes. Cut into squares. Dust with confectioners’ sugar, if desired, and serve. These are great on the go, but you can also freeze any leftover squares in plastic wrap.