We are due for a trip back βhomeβ this summer. Less than four months. Four spring months, which tend to pass by much faster than dreary winter months. It will have been two years since being there. That’s a lot of time for things to change.
My hometown (Branson, Missouriβyou get a gold star if you’ve heard of it!) is in constant change because it’s a tourist town. For midwest USA, it draws families and the elderly for affordable vacations. I feel like I’m about to shoot a commercial. Just believe meβit changes a lot. Restaurants, music shows, and attractions move in and out, trying to keep up with the ebb and flow of the latest group of tourists willing to come to a unique town of 10,000.
I’m used to places changing. And plans. Oh, the plans. βPlans can’t keep up with changesβ was on repeat during training before landing in our new home. What always gets me, though, is how much people change. Then, upon reflection, how much I have changed.
I don’t know about you, but it’s hard to keep up with people’s lives from afar. Sure, we get glimpses on social media about their best days ever, their biggest catastrophes, and their adorable pet. But I sure don’t see a lot of hearts being laid out there. What is transforming people? How is everyone really dealing with all the recent scary events? In what ways are they diving into their community, loving and serving those around them? Maybe they’re not. Or maybe those who are can’t be found on social media much. It’s hard to dive into all of these issues over a quick email, usually initiated by us, right? Face-to-face is just so much better.
When I get that in-person chance, though, it takes a while to figure out how each of us has changed. It’s not always easy to pinpoint, and if one of us has slipped the wrong way in some areas, it’s not easy to admit. I often enter conversations addressing peopleβclose friends, especiallyβnot where we left off last visit, because those are usually a blur, but when we lived there last. Those memories seem to be more etched in my memory. For us, though, that was 8 years ago. That’s definitely a long time for people to change!
I have had more than a few foot-in-mouth moments where I assumed a friend was still on the same page as me, say, about a hot topic (same-sex marriage, vaccines, the current president, etc.), and boy did I get a word lashing! How was I supposed to know they had swayed the other direction?! I find myself treading lightly through conversations, doing more listening than talking, but desiring to share how I’ve changed, too. I mean, I’m practically half Chinese now. Didn’t they notice I took my shoes off at the door and asked for water with no ice in the dead of summer?
Maneuvering conversations can be tricky. Assuming they’ve read our newsletters and email updates, they know a good deal of what has been going on our lives. Don’t you wish some people would send you newsletters on their lives? It’s so hard for them to summarize years’ worth of events, emotions, and changes into a short conversation. And so they usually don’t. They usually dive into recent news, lessons, or frustrations. I find myself searching for how to fill in the gaps of events that I missed, trying to hang in the conversation without looking totally lost. Anyone else with me on this?
And then there’s me. Oh, how I’ve changed! I’d like to say a lot of it is for the better. God has really used the valleys of living overseas to grow me closer to Him. He has broken down stereotypes, brought to light my pride, and forced me on my knees so I could trust in Him. I also see people differently, understand more cultures, and realize that yes, others actually can do things better than my own culture and it’s ok to change! Although I’ll be perceived as weird with this mesh of traditions I’ve embraced…but I’m ok with that.
The life we live is pretty disjointed. Our heart is in more than one place, sometimes multiple. We have people we love dearly all over the planet. It’s impossible to keep up with people as much as we want and still live in intentional community where we currently live. So I think that’s it. We have to be intentional with those who are in front of us right now. We can reach out to those far away as often as we can handle it without being pulled away from where we are now. When we go to one of our other homes, that’s the time to dig in and ask questions and share our heart with those there, right in front of us. We may not fill in all the gaps of how we’ve each changed, but that’s ok. Jesus knows. He’s a great gap-filler.
How have you changed since living overseas? How do you navigate conversations with loved ones who you haven’t kept up with, but have obviously changed?
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Homemade bread can take forever. I usually steer away from the double rise types–although more authentic I’m sure–I just can’t seem to think of making it early enough in the day for it to be finished by dinner. These rolls are finished in an hour! That’s my kinda homemade bread. It still uses yeast, and you still have to knead it a few minutes because well, it’s still bread and those things are necessary. But it takes far less time and still turns out great! Try these out for your Easter meal!
Yeast is finicky. It likes very warm water. Not lukewarm. Not hot. When it’s right, it’ll bubble up and grow.
If you have a stand mixer, this step is even easier. I recently inherited one, but have yet to use it. Ha! I know what the dough feels like in my hands when it’s ready. Not too sticky, pulling away from the bowl, ready for a massage.
You can technically skip the kneading, but why? It’s so fun! Plus, if you do skip it, your bread will be more dense. I like soft, airy bread so I dig in for 5-7 minutes until it’s this soft, smooth consistency.
You can make a loaf, breadsticks, rolls, whatever you want. So versatile!
Because of the extra yeast, these babies only need 20 minutes to rise in a warm spot.
Baked to perfection!
Slather some butter, jelly, honey, whatever tickles your fancy and enjoy!
1-Hour Dinner Rolls
Makes 24 rolls
Ready in 1 hour
Slightly Adapted from Food Network
Preheat the oven to 400 degrees F (200 C).
In a large bowl, whisk the instant yeast, and warm water. Let it activate for 5 minutes until bubbly. Stir in the honey.
Add cup cooled melted butter, 2 teaspoons salt, and eggs. Slowly add the flour cup-by-cup until fully incorporated and the dough pulls away from the sides of the bowl. Add more flour if it is too sticky.
Knead 5-7 minutes. (Skip this step if you’re in a major hurry. Knead for fluffier rolls.)
Portion the dough into 24 even servings. Roll dough into balls and place on a baking sheet or pan spaced evenly apart. Set aside and allow to rise approximately 20 minutes, or until doubled in size, in a warm spot.
Bake for 25 minutes until the tops are golden brown. Remove from the oven, brush with melted butter if desired, and sprinkle with a little salt. Enjoy!
*These can be shaped into a loaf, bread sticks, mini loaves–whatever you wish! It’s a versatile dough.
Photo by Manon Boyer on Unsplash
I don’t always have time or the energy to read these posts; I’m glad I did today. Having been overseas for 30+ years, I can easily agree with your thoughts. It’s so hard to keep up with friends, even family in the country we grew up in. I have a love-hate relationship with social media, but it does help me some. It’s also terribly humbling to visit even our home church after an extended time away and not remember some names, people, who remember us. Before Sundays, I try to look through the directory hoping to connect names and faces again. Aisha! Thanks for the recipe. I know what to bring to our fellowship group on Holy day.
30 years is a long time to be away! Glad you have a directory to look out…I don’t think our church even makes one! So, we embarrassingly admit that we can’t remember their name and hope they don’t take it too hard. Eek! Hope the rolls turn out great!
Just want to clarify: We do go back for short furloughs every 2-4 years. π We haven’t been completely away for 30 years–like many of the early missionaries.
Thanks for clarifying. I assumed you did! The early m’s were die-hards! Packing their belongings in their coffins…sheesh! But travel IS much easier these days.
This was a breath of fresh air for me this morning. My husband and I are not in our place of service yet but working to get there. I enjoy reading articles from this perspective because God uses them to help me prepare my heart and soul. Thank you for these nuggets of wisdom and a side of tasty bread! π
The most helpful part of this perspective you shared is that it will help me understand my teammates better and learn how to straddle so many fences that lay before me. I hope you enjoy your time on furlough and feel refreshed to head back out. Blessings!
So glad you have great resources to check out before you go! Straddling fences isn’t for the weak. Hang on for the wild ride!
This is so true it is difficult to navigate through change when you didn’t change with people. I agree I wish others sent me the newsletter about themselves!
And then they’d also understand a smidge of the work/torture it is to write the things!
(smirking)!!! Yes that would be an added benefit!
I head up tomorrow after nearly 2 years away, and I’m pretty terrified for all the reasons you listed. And I know I’m different too. I have a 7-month old who I certainly didn’t have the last time I was up. “Mother” was not one of my titles back then.
Lots of changes, indeed! Hang in there, mama!
“Donβt you wish some people would send you newsletters on their lives?” YES!
I DO know where Branson, MO is. I’m from MO as well. Actually, we had our short honeymoon in Branson before driving to Ohio to be in another wedding and then heading back to China a few days after that. Hope to take the kids there someday, I think they’d enjoy SDC.
Good words and true. We just returned from visiting and once again we felt like we were listening to everyone else, but not really getting to share what we were doing – then feeling guilty for “being so selfish”. It was hard to fit in and feel like family – especially when there were new family members that we hadn’t met (not babies, adults and older kids). Anyway, I’m glad we were able to spend 2 months because by the end things were better, but I know it will be back to square one the next time we return.
Yay for MO peeps. π Where are you from? My kids haven’t been to SDC! We’re thinking of buying season passes while home this time since the cost of going once is 3/4 of the pass price! Craziness!
So true that it takes TIME to figure out the listening and sharing balance. Quick returns are hard for that. I hope you get a longer stint back at some point to help rebuild some of the relationships!
It has been odd “re-assimilating” (think aliens…) to our Texas life after 2 years on an island in the South Pacific. For instance, I can’t even pinpoint most of the ways I’VE changed so I certainly can’t figure it out for everyone else! lol
And I may or may not have just looked you up on Facebook to see what your maiden name was. I was a 12 year senior at BHS and lived in Branson from age 3-18. Well, no wonder I don’t recognize your name – you graduated almost a DECADE after me! Sheesh….;-)
It definitely takes time, on all fronts! Hang in there!
SO COOL you went to BHS too! Small world! Sometimes I miss that quirky little town…but I definitely don’t miss the tour-bus traffic. π I don’t even know the back roads anymore! I may now be considered a touron to the locals…ha! (We always called them tourons..tourists + morons…such Christlike words, I know.)