Long before reaching those awkward years of puberty, I was a bit of a tomboy. I loved racing the neighborhood kids up and down the street on my Dukes of Hazzard Big Wheel. I had a pair of Spiderman tennis shoes that were my go-to for every occasion. I’d climb the tree next to the little league field to get a bird’s eye view of my dad coaching on the baselines all summer long. And I used to enjoy mimicking the theatrics of the WWF (renamed WWE) as my cousin and I tag-teamed on Saturday mornings.
Early childhood sometimes has a way of making you feel invincible.
But fast forward some four decades later and life has a way of showcasing all your vulnerabilities. If I’m honest, I find my mid-forties self often grieving what I thought my life would look like—and let me just assure you, living an overseas life for more than twenty years was never a part of the plan. Yes, I am blessed. I know that I am blessed. But try as I may to remember all of God’s benefits, my resolve is repeatedly thrown against the ropes by the tag-team combination of the earthly works of my flesh and the stubborn carnality of my mind.
You see, my flesh reasons that, by this age, I could’ve already attained this or I should’ve already achieved that. And if I abide this reasoning too long, my mind begins to go down what I know is the wrong line of questioning. Yet I still ask myself: “What if I would’ve never left home or family or fields to go into all the world? What if I would’ve chosen the more predictable way? You know, staying within the safe space of all that was familiar? Or how about the office job that offered good health insurance and that 401(k)? I mean, would it not have been more responsible to just remain? Would I have already ticked all the boxes of success as defined by the world? Or maybe, by that of my own flesh?”
Oh, the self-promoting tones of all the what-ifs. The tongue really is a rudder, you know. For those utterances of could’ve, should’ve, and would’ve are surely guiding my anxious thoughts down the broad, short-sighted road that leads to worldly gain that is as fleeting as life itself.
And though I recognize this, the truth is, I’m still wrestling. I wrestle with the unmet expectations in the flesh and with the uphill battles of the mind. I wrestle with surrendering all my will so that his will be done. I wrestle with the heartache of desires that will never be and with the heartening truth of what really is. Yes, I wrestle with the frustration of unanswered prayers and that, despite them, God’s plans really are for my good. I wrestle with sometimes feeling a failure and with often feeling a fool. I wrestle with being in this world, but not of it—not even of the momentary successes it affords.
Yeah, I’m wrestling alright. For “the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever you want” (Galatians 5:17 NIV).
Can I just re-emphasize that last part?
“ . . . you are not to do whatever you want.”
Well, if that’s not contrary to human thought, I don’t know what is. The world promotes that success is centered on gratifying self—doing whatever you want. But the Bible affirms that success is centered on glorifying God—obeying whatever he says. That is to:
Deny Self and Follow Him
“Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it. What good will it be for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul? Or what can anyone give in exchange for their soul?” (Matthew 16:24–26).
Seek Him First
“But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well” (Matthew 6:33).
Fear, Obey, Love, and Serve Him
“And now, Israel, what does the Lord your God ask of you but to fear the Lord your God, to walk in obedience to him, to love him, to serve the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul” (Deuteronomy 10:12).
Trust Him
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight” (Proverbs 3:5–6).
Do It All for His Glory
“And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him“ (Colossians 3:17).
While there is nothing wrong with success that comes from without, we must not value it more than God. Rather, our focus should be on achieving success from within by obeying his Word, remembering:
“He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose.” —Jim Elliot
What are you wrestling with in the flesh and/or mind? What scripture can help you to shift your focus back to success as defined by God?
