How to Fight Being Tired, Frustrated, and Discouraged

Don’t you wish you could find a kindred spirit among the limited amount of expats around you? (Or maybe you just wish there was another expat nearby.) Wouldn’t that make it not so lonely? Are you tired of trying to make your husband fill the role of being your “girlfriend” too? (I mean really how many times do you have to hear him say, “I’m sorry I am listening, but I don’t get it.”)

I imagine I am not alone in being alone or at least feeling alone. Well, there is no substitution for your real BFF that is miles away BUT If you have not heard of Velvet Ashes Connection groups, you are missing out!

I was fortunate enough to find out about them this past fall, and it has been such a blessing to me, my family, my team, and my work. (When you are poured into you become better in all these roles!)

I live in a place where there is little fellowship with others. So when I joined the connection group it was an amazing refreshment to my soul. I forgot what it felt like to be in a group of women with similar hearts for the unreached, similar frustrations, difficulties and joys….until the first time my group met! It quickly became the highlight of my week. My heart was lightened and filled with some added joy.

I picked a time that would work for me to make and with limited internet connection I chose the Facebook group chat. Each week we answered questions and encouraged each other, prayed for one another and CONNECTED. Mid-week there would be a question or picture to think on and reply to as we had a chance. God gave me an extra gift in that there was a woman in my group from the same country I am in, that only lives three hours from me! We have been able to meet up a couple times and are only a phone call away.

It is so easy to get tired, frustrated, and discouraged in the work that we are all involved in! But those are tactics of the enemy. I was feeling pretty isolated and dry, and this group was so powerful in putting truth back into my life in only the way we women can do/be for one another. Don’t think you can handle all you are doing without being poured into. Take the time to invest in other women and be loved on in return. I have been on my current field assignment for almost 12 years. I see so many women return home before the time they thought they would and a lot of it is due to loneliness, discouragement, and frustration. Thanks to Velvet Ashes and their staff (made up of long time workers overseas), they have been able to meet a real need, creating community where there is none. Whether via Skype, Facebook chat, or Facebook, don’t underestimate the power of joining together whatever the media! I pray that you will be blessed as much as I have when you join one of these groups! Looking forward to possibly meeting you in one of these groups.

Have you participated in a Velvet Ashes Connection Group on Facebook Chat?  What advice do you have for someone who’s not sure they’ve got much to contribute? Connection Group registration will open the day after tomorrow (Tuesday) at 6 p.m. EST. You can see the Connection Groups available this year here.


  1. Amy Miller February 19, 2017

    Cindy! Lovely article friend!! Thank you for sharing your heart!! So thankful for your experience and wisdom in our CG!

    1. Cindy February 20, 2017

      Thanks Amy! It really was a blessing meeting with you each week last fall! AND to stay connected! =)

    2. Bayta February 20, 2017

      I was going to say exactly the same thing! Instead I’ll just agree with Amy 🙂

      1. Cindy February 20, 2017

        Bayta, you are a gem! Thanks for facilitating the group, you really blessed us all in so many ways through your wisdom, love and realness! Love you! <3

  2. Judy February 20, 2017

    I tried so hard to enroll in a group this last time. It seemed like the second they opened they were full. I was so disappointed. Is there a secret to getting in to one?

    1. Cindy February 20, 2017

      Judy, They open tomorrow, the 21st. I would say try to register as soon as it opens to have more chances. I know the VA staff is aware that the need is greater than can be met at this time and they are working on getting more women to facilitate more groups, so hopefully the desire that exists to be in a group and groups available can match!

    2. Amy Young February 20, 2017

      Hi Judy! We feel your pain 🙂 — I know that the Skype groups tend to fill up slowly as do the Facbebook Chat groups — I don’t know if either of those work for you. To try and make it as fair as we can to all of the different time zones around the world, we have Facebook registration in three waves — I hope one of them works for you!

      And to those who might be facilitators . . . we can only have as many groups as we can find facilitators :). We know the need is great! Join with us in praying for more :)!

      1. Melissa February 28, 2017

        Will you be asking for facilitators publicly or do interested people need to seek y’all out? Thinking of next time…

  3. Jody February 22, 2017

    When I click on the link to “see” what groups are even available, I can’t see them. Can you help?

    1. Jody February 22, 2017

      Nevermind. Found it from the facebook page. Thank you.

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